"re-enchantment of life"

 Something I was thinking about today, something I read somewhere ages ago, it was about trying to find the "enchantment" or whatever in day-to-day life. Because really, that's all most of us have, right? Most of us don't have the money or time to go off to some romantic city for a weekend or longer, most of us can't dine in fancy restaurants all the time.

For me, I admit, this partly takes the form of living half in my imagination. I admit sometimes I worry about it - am I being hopelessly childish? I used to do it all the time as a kid - being in school was, at times, unpleasant enough, or sometimes I was lonely enough, that it was easier and pleasanter to imagine a slightly nicer or fancier world - one where I had more friends, or there was clear evidence I wasn't just ordinary, or there was some kind of magic in day-to-day life.

I think I got thinking about this because of the new Wes Anderson movie out. (The French Dispatch). I'd like to see it - oh, I will probably wait until either it's streaming or I can catch it on one of the cable movie channels. I'm not comfortable going to a theater right now, and I suspect the place it's playing will be a far piece from me, so it's maybe not in the cards right now. But I admit, I like his aesthetic, even as weird and twee as some of what he does is. I love the sheer manneredness of his set design - the very precise interiors, the definite "mid century" color scheme, the weird little accessory. And the stable of odd characters - some annoying, some whimsical (okay, fine: maybe MOST are a bit annoying). But they're very distinctive people. They are NOT ordinary. And I think ordinariness is something I've become mired in, and I've started to feel small and ordinary myself. (Part of this is I do need validation, I know that, and I don't always get it, at least not from outside sources.)

And I even re-watched the old H and M Christmas ad (the one on the train) he directed. And yes, on one level it's a "crummy commercial" for a fast-fashion company - but it's also sweet and delightful and it makes me happy.

Anyway...maybe try to imagine situations from your life as part of a Wes Anderson movie? Use that ironic-detached narrator in your head to accompany you through your day? It sounds goofy to put it down in words but it does weirdly help a little. (I spent a LOT of my childhood and early adolescence, if not entirely in an imagined world, with an imagined world very close by, so I could, so to speak, "see" it from where I as, and it did help.)

The other thing about the movies is that a lot of the characters are odd, they dress strangely or whimsically, and they don't....really care? One of my problems is I do tend to care too much what other people think. I had kind of gotten over it before 2020, and was more comfortable dressing a little eccentrically (I am the only woman in the department who regularly wears dresses or skirts, and I dress in much brighter colors than everyone else) but that kind of got wiped out during the period of isolation (I get too much in my head, and I start to doubt myself). I have a couple dresses hanging in the closet I have not yet worn in public - a couple because they're a little short for comfort (though over thicker tights? maybe not). 

Anyway, I saw these shoes for sale - they are a Hot Chocolates design; I have several of their shoes. They are VERY flat - they are basically a somewhat more upscale version of the cheap Chinese women's cloth mary-janes I used to buy at an import shop and wear in high school. I can put my orthotics in them so they don't destroy my feet. And yeah, they're cloth, so you have to be careful not to wear them on extremely rainy days. But they do seem to hold up okay? I have a pair I've worn off and on since 2018 and they are still in decent shape (the OG Chinese shoes used to break down pretty fast; the lining in them would shred. And also, they wouldn't stay buckled because it was just a slide buckle rather than holes and a prong like a belt). 

Anyway, I saw these and LOVED them - they are peacock themed. But they were expensive, and I also asked myself, "how often, really, would you wear them?"

But in the end I decided I really did want them, and if nothing else, I could wear them with a tan dress I have.

I wore them once last week - the outfit above, longish brown skirt, dark teal top (far enough from the shoes to not tell the greens weren't a perfect match). I wore them again today - pulled out my dark green jumper because it was a cooler day and I needed to wear a long-sleeved shirt, so the jumper dress seemed to work. 

So I guess they were definitely a worthwhile buy; I have a few other dresses and probably skirt-and-top combination they should work with. Yes, they're a bit "much" perhaps, but I like them, they make me smile. (So far no one has commented on them, which surprises me a little, but then again - I think we are all more subdued now when it comes to noticing one another or saying things, a legacy of being masked for a year plus - and some of us still are)

But maybe that's something I need - a few little bits of mild outrageousness, clothes that maybe would cause people to giggle a bit at me behind my back (and yes, okay, I hate that, but). But I'm tired of the gray sameness, the ordinariness....