Did the thing

 The service was scheduled for 3, so I drove out there at 2:20 (it takes about 12 minutes to get to the cemetery from my house: I drove it last night and timed it, as I'd never been there before)

 There were a couple other people there already - people who had come up from North Texas (they had taught with L.) and I think they were looking at some other graves of people they knew. Gradually others showed up - L.'s cousin, and I went over and talked to her while she sat in her airconditioned car (her health isn't *great*). I commented that I only had about 10 minutes worth of things to say (I practiced it beforehand*). I admit I was apprehensive about that because the memorial services I've been to before lasted like 45 minutes, but they were in a church, and it wasn't on an 85 degree day outside.

She said "Oh, that's just *perfect,* that's what her daughter wanted!" and I could have cried just then because I was so apprehensive about it not being "enough"

(*transferable skills! It was like practicing a conference presentation for time and also so I didn't stumble over words, though for conference presentations I didn't have a script, and for this, I had typed one out) 

There were a dozen chairs set up, and fifteen people. I stood since I was speaking (and was probably the second or third youngest there) and the men stood. There was a small casket-like container on a table which I assumed (correctly) were the cremains, and a couple floral sprays. While waiting for 3 pm to arrive, I looked down and saw a small group of tiny brown-and-orange butterflies (I don't know what species) were visiting one of the sprays and I found that comforting somehow. Sort of a life-goes-on thing

It was mostly Scripture and the sort of "Christian funeral boilerplate" (about the difference between the ephemeral body and the eternal soul, and God's love and care, etc.). I couldn't remember *specific* stories so I went with generalities, and then opened it up if anyone else had anything to share

I said I was apprehensive about it - I had a bad experience at a family funeral where another relative went a little......much..... during the visitation. But here, it was *exactly the right thing* and I'm glad I did it because most everyone (there were about 15 people there) had a good, happy, short memory to share, ranging from having taught with her, or having been in clubs with her, or having grown up and gone to school with her. (And that might be *partly* why people told me it was so good - in my experience, people tend to think an event is better if they get a chance to talk)

Also, JUST after I finished, a group of Canada geese flew by (luckily we were under a canopy) and people laughed and said "Liz got a fly-by!" and I also noted the thing with the butterflies.

And people did say it was good. Her cousin came up and hugged me and thanked me and said it was just the right thing, and her daughter did the same.

(I did have one other task - we were hanging around after I got done and I realized "wait don't the cemetery employees need to do something?" and I decided to walk partway down to where their truck was parked (everyone else was talking) and gave them a wave and yeah, they had to actually do the physical interment.)

As I was heading out - after the people parked in front of me "unboxed" my car - L.'s daughter stuffed a $100 bill in my Bible, which startled me. I mean, I know "real" ministers get paid for this sort of thing, but.....I'm not a "real" minister (and was very open about that before I started speaking). 

I don't know. I openly admit my inclination is to do one of three things:

1. Drop it anonymously in the collection plate on Sunday, we are always hurting for funds

2. Donate it to a memorial fund at church, which usually goes to things like repair or replacement of fixtures

3. Donate it to a local fund that purchases school supplies for schoolkids whose parents struggle to afford even the basics of life (L. was a math teacher).

I will have to think on it more. Yes, my time is worth something, but ....I am not currently hurting for funds and really I put this together in maybe an hour and a half on Tuesday evening. 

(Friends on Twitter are pushing me to keep at least half, that might be a fair compromise, maybe send $50 to the charity-for-schoolkids and keep $50)

But yeah, I guess that's another unusual life skill I have now? Knowing what to say at an interment?