* Slowly packing for my trip tomorrow. I am trying to ignore news of the "Delta variant" but will still of course mask (still required on Amtrak) and if it's at all possible, will eat my meals in my roomette. I'm doing this now because WHO KNOWS and it might once again be unsafe to travel at Thanksgiving (yes, even for the vaccinated) and I want to see my mom while I still can.
I have pretty much all my clothes packed; I still have to put in the makeup/medications/hairbrush/etc/ and the "emotional support ponies" (and Squishy Dog) and also Piranesi, provided I don't finish that tonight (It is going a different direction than I thought. I am sticking with it but I fear it's going to break really sad on me. Then again - I think Clarke is one of those authors who, like Lousie Penny, tries not to leave her readers totally devastated, who offers at the epilogue a bit of hope. I prefer writers like that).
I also stuck in a copy of Gaudy Night (which I have never yet read!) and "The Woman who Smashed Codes" (which a Ravelry friend sent me) and tucked "The Goblin Emperor" in my suitcase in case I run out of other books.
* Projects - I loaded up the in-progress stuffed manatee with hopes of finishing it, and also tucked in the single skein of yarn and pattern for an octopus from the same pattern seller (Yarnigans). I'm going to load up the two socks in progress (Jaywalker and the Oma's Socken) in my carry on - I don't usually knit on the train these days, but you never know if you get hit with a really miserable delay and don't want to read/run through what you've got to read.
And a couple more socks' worth of yarn, and a mitt pattern a friend wrote and yarn for that. And "Huge and Huggable Mochimochi" and the single skein of yarn the baby capybara pattern takes. I also found the yarn for the immense (really: 2' long finished) roly poly, but decided against trying to drag that along too.
Decided against any really big long-term projects; I'm tired and I tend not to work on those on breaks now any more.
* Today at church was the installation of our new minister (this is a ceremony, but not a really big one - then again, DoC doesn't do a lot of "ceremony"). It was good, though. We had a meal afterward (not sure how much longer we'll be able to do these - at the last board meeting we discussed what triggers we need to look for to going back to fully-masking and limited-contact services, because of Delta variant). It was sandwiches and salads - I baked a red velvet cake (I was told to make one as it was the minister's favorite). I had never made one before, did NOT want to use a mix (I do not care for cakes from mixes), but I found a recipe here. It turned out very well, and it's not a hard recipe - well, it's more involved than a mix, though not that much, but it's not as difficult as some cakes I've made. But I was not prepared for the volume of red food coloring you are supposed to use in it - 2 1/2 tablespoons is A LOT.
Also, in a "past life," I guess he did some cowboy type stuff/rodeo, and so they had the fellowship hall decorated in cowboy style, and someone else brought in a roping dummy steer (basically a metal frame with a fake steer head) so the people who roped could show off (and other people could try. I didn't; I was mostly working on making sure there was food out, etc.)
* Other than that, it's just warm here. In a bit I need to try to mow the lawn one last time before break, if I can get through it (maybe it will be easier since it's shorter than it was last time I did it). I'm ready for summer to be over (over in a temperature/weather sense more than over in the sense of "time to go back to teaching full time" but also kind of that too). On Thursday, when I went to pick up my quilt, I ran to the JoAnn's quickly (really needed to go to Ulta, but JoAnn's was right next door) and saw the first little bit of fall stuff (some ribbon and some things for making fall wreaths). And wow, I felt nostalgic for fall, which was always my favorite season of the year, for a lot of reasons. Oh, I know it's coming, but it doesn't feel close enough yet.
* Also I admit I feel like the "end of the tunnel" that felt VERY close when I got my second vaccine in March seems to be stretching off to infinity - after talking it over with several people, I've decided to teach masked this fall (mask mandate was lifted and IIRC our governor banned new ones being instituted, so it's up to the individual). I've had students in past years with various autoimmune diseases, that's a big reason for my choice. One of my friends at church who has had a number of health issues (but is vaccinated, but is concerned because I think some of those health issues decrease immune response) got exposed through a grandchild and is now isolating. And my inner five year old is kicking and screaming that she wants this all to be OVER NOW and it's probably never actually going to be over and.....well, it's just another damned sort of mourning, instead of mourning a person (and I've had way, way too many people to mourn in the past few years), you're mourning a certain sense of security (which was maybe always illusory, I don't know), and comfort in the world, and things like that.
I mean, realistically, my life has not changed A LOT (aside from not eating in restaurants, which I know many people have gone back to doing, and not being able to go to plays at the moment because campus is not doing them, and not going antiquing though that's mainly because a lot of the antique stores here are HOT in the summer and I'd rather not go through them masked up) but it also feels.....so different, and so much *smaller* and sadder than the before times.
But also: I don't know what it is but my town feels a lot smaller now than it did in 2019. Maybe that's partly all the road construction making it harder to get *out* of town, I don't know. Maybe it's having seen a few small businesses close and things seemingly "simplify down" to fewer kinds of businesses.
Maybe it's partly age, and nothing to do with the pandemic? The feeling that the rest of my life now is going to be more "goodbyes" than "hellos," and that there's not a lot of possibilities left for me, and that I'm almost certainly closer to the end than the beginning, and I just have to find some way to make peace with that. I might have felt this way without the pandemic (though dealing with it might have been easier)
* Maybe I just need some time off, to watch some goofy kids' movies (right now I have "Sing!" on in the background) and knit a little and not have to worry about "what do I feed myself NOW?"
It's been a long summer even though I feel like I didn't really do anything
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