And Tuesday morning

Still not sleeping all that well. I know some people say "I don't dream in color, I don't 'sense' odors in my dreams or hear sounds" but all of those things are things for me. One of my dream featured something - it was like a jar of gasoline, but it was more jellylike, and it had a very distinctive odor that I *remember* from the real world but now cannot place (no, it was not gasoline, but it was an oily odor but also a little bit solventlike? Maybe something like some of the nastier gel hand cleansers we used to have in woods shop or metals shop?)

I am wondering if I'm just taking in too many random things (too much stuff at work, too much time on the 'Net at home) and it's overloading me and my brain is desperately trying to file stuff and just getting overwhelmed. I don't know if periodic "information fasts" are the way to go; I suppose it would be worth a try. Though I also get bored easily doing "nothing" so I don't know. Though maybe taking an afternoon or a day and JUST reading or JUST listening to music and not watching news or keeping up with various online things would be the way to go.

(Or maybe tonight is the night for that. Or for breaking out my "Parks and Recreation" dvd set: NCIS will not be on, I think, because it's State of the Union. I've never really watched the SOTU - except maybe a few times in school when the teachers told us to or gave us a worksheet, I can't remember. But since I'm a monkeyfighting adult and can choose what I consume - well, I have no need to see it. It will either be a horrorshow (basically a long rant about the impeachement) or very rah-rah or weird and bland and I'm sure if anything big happens I can hear about it tomorrow.

Honestly, I feel like the SOTU should be a written report, published in newspapers and online but maybe not turned into an hour-long (or more) tv show?)

***

However:  the city did come early this morning and pick up my trash. I called, apparently shortly after they left for the day, and left a message. Frankly, I was expecting to have to call again this morning or maybe even go down there (especially if they claimed something like "the credit on your water bill doesn't cover trash pick up even though it's part of the bill.")

So it was a pleasant surprise to have that go easily.

***

I do definitely notice that I haven't "bounced back" yet, at least as far as stamina for brainwork and ability to cope with a lot of things being thrown at me goes. My physical stamina is better (evidenced by the amount of time I can work out) but mentally I hit "walls" and have to stop. I hope this gets better some time.

I hit a wall towards the end of Bell Choir last night; we had run through both pieces several times and then the director called for one last run through of one of them and it was all I could do to make it through. I did complain that my elbow was starting to bother me (I have one of the heavier bass bells) but also my concentration was going. (Then again: I'd been on campus from 7 am until about 4 pm, I dealt with people in a lab who didn't always 100% know what they were doing, I worried about getting stuff cleaned up in time so  a colleague could set up his lab for today in there....)

Also, teaching four classes, where one is a new prep, that is the absolute limit of my brainpower. I guess it's good to know your limits, but....I wish mine were higher right now.

***

Something odd, and maybe an insight into what I have been referring to as my "goblin brain" (that part of me that is maybe needlessly self critical):

Last night at Bell Choir the director came over to hug me and she declared I was "one of her favorite people." And well, yeah, maybe I'm being overly literal-minded here and maybe she just says EVERYONE she cares about is "one of her favorite people," my goblin brain immediately recoiled and went, "How could YOU possibly be someone's favorite person?" (or, I guess: ONE OF their favorite people).

I don't know. I suppose it's "unpopular/teased kid legacy" - when someone seems to actually like me I am either suspicious (expecting ulterior motives, and yeah, I've had that happen, I've had people who wanted to "use" me befriend me in the past) or if you cannot attribute ulterior motives because your opinion of the person is too high, you wonder either what it is they could possibly see in you or if their "chooser" is somehow broken.

And I don't know. Maybe it's a cyclic thing. I nearly apologized to my doctor for "bothering" her (with all my messages) about the thing that happened but I manged to squash down that inclination given that she seemed relieved to know that it was really nothing after all.

(I mean: i guess she still gets paid by insurance for the visit, and doesn't have to worry about more complicated things/doing referrals and all that. And she once did comment to me that she liked having healthy patients. I suppose it's not just less work; it's less concern)

***

Don't know what's going to happen with the weather. At some points the local weather people are talking snowmageddon, but the more-reasonable morning guy was like "yeah, a lot of you will just see cold rain" and I have to admit: if we're going to get weather AT ALL bad enough for the roads to be bad, I hope they cancel classes. For one thing, I don't want students risking the drive in tomorrow. Some years back we had a student killed in a bad-weather road accident (ice) and it was assumed by most of us that he was trying to get here for classes (on a day when classes SHOULD have been cancelled; that may also have been the time one of the librarians fell on ice here and badly messed up his wrist).

Also, I've said it before: 35-50 F and raining is far more miserable and unpleasant than 20 F and snowing, especially if the air is dry enough at the colder temperature that the snow is just kind of light and fluffy. (And at least with snow it usually doesn't soak through you so fast).

I would also not be heartbroken to have tomorrow off. (And if the roads are bad, I told people not to risk coming in, but I'll have to deal then with letting people make up this lab. And if it continues into Thursday, maybe arranging for make up times for exams for my other class)

Though I hate it when they build up to winter weather and you hope maybe you'll get a day off, and then it's just miserable cold rain instead. (Though it sounds like some places north and west of us might actually get ice).

***

I should head over to Adagio Teas and re-order a couple of the teas I like that I have been using. I need something small and pleasant anyway.

Maybe if I get a snow day tomorrow I spend part of it cleaning up my horrible house, and part of it knitting...