- I put together a backing for the "lantern" quilt that I talked about taking to the quilter. It took a lot of work because I realized that not only would a double width of the fabric be a hair too narrow (and so, needed a band in the middle to widen it), but it would likely be a hair too short.
This is why you have a stash:
It's not an *ideal* color match, but it's the best I could do (trying to match color and sort of style) from what I had on hand that was "uncommitted." Five pm on a Sunday, especially in a town where the quilt shop isn't even open Sundays, is an impossible time to realize you are short on fabric. (And anyway - that piece, called "Pearls of China" - with the women's heads is at least six or seven years old so I doubt I could ever find any more, so I had to piece the backing.
But now it's ready, and I aggressively pressed the top, so when I can get down to Denison I can drop it off. I'm thinking for the pattern, it will depend on what she has, but if there are no florals I like, or fans (the top has some fabrics with fans in them) something with a circular element to the design would work, because there are a lot of fabrics on the top that have circles in the design.
- I also added a couple more rows to the Vigenère cipher top, though that one gets tedious to work on. (I am not yet quite halfway). I like the IDEA of the quilt and will be happy with the finished product, but working on it? Not so much.
- I also found the pattern with my annotations on it for the "Hey, Girl" cardigan (this is the grey one) and was able to restart it without any problem. Though my stupid goblin brain did hit me with the thought that "the last time you worked on this, your dad was still alive" (I think that was the case...) and of course I was sad again.
And the not so good:
- Another night of weird complicated dreams, some of them sad. I still am not over (if you ever actually do get over) the losses of a number of people in my life. I still have dreams where my dad is alive and there and I will get to a point where I go "wait, this isn't possible" and then wake up.
- I also made the mistake of watching part of "The Royal Tenenbaums," which was being shown on one of the movie channels. I WANT to like the movie; I WANT to like Wes Anderson but this movie (and "Rushmore," which feels related) always make me kind of sad. Especially this one, especially the whole idea of "gifted kids who flamed out early and are now aimless" and while I recognize that's not me (I was never that gifted, I had absolutely zero "early success," and I am in a somewhat-successful-if-not-exciting-and-world-changing career instead of being aimless).
In one review of it I read a while back, the reviewer commented that it was fundamentally a movie about loneliness and lack of connection, and that might be what it is about it that makes me sad: I tend to feel lonely some times, perhaps partly a legacy of my often having felt on the outside looking in when I was younger, and also the fact that I find "disconnects" when they happen in daily life (like: when someone doesn't understand you, or when people are just kind of low-level unhappy with each other) kind of distressing.
I admit I also feel a bit annoyed because Wes Anderson is my age and he's done so much more. I feel that a bit less now than when I was younger, but....yeah. (Don't ever tell smart kids that they're expected to "do great things" like my teachers did; it sets those kids up to feel like they've failed and disappointed people when they don't broker world peace or find the cure to Ebola or write symphonies when they should feel HAPPY if they turn out to be a productive member of society who doesn't routinely lawbreak)
- Still not loving the run-up to Valentine's Day. I cancelled my subscription to the Build-a-Bear workshop e-mails, despite liking to know what new critters they have coming out, because they're leaning heavily on "Build-a-Bear 'After Dark'" which is apparently lingerie-wearing stuffed animals for "grown ups" and it alternately makes me sad and slightly squicked out and can we please leave a FEW things as totally innocent for people who want things to be totally innocent?
I'm also coming up a little empty with ideas for what for my mom to get me for my birthday. She asked me for ideas but the difficulty level is they have to be something that can be ordered from a catalog (so places that are just online are out). There's maybe a dress at Vermont Country Store I'd like; I had to pitch a couple of my long sleeved dresses this winter because they were 20+ years old and the fabric just wore out. But I don't know. Adult birthdays are a cheat, anyway: you have to work, it seems silly to throw a party, usually you're watching how you eat so cake and similar aren't a good idea....Maybe I'll feel differently when it gets closer, I don't know, but I can't think of anything (easily obtained for my mom) that I would want.
- I can also tell, despite not feeling *despair* any more, and being marginally better mentally after all the garbage from the second half of 2019, that I'm still not totally back - I have limited processing memory and I have to write stuff down if I need to remember it, and I also have limited "spoons" and so thinking about stuff like "you are soon going to have to gather up all your I-9s and the various printouts of places you gave money to or places you got money from (I didn't have Fidelity take anything out of the "required minimum distribution" from my dad's estate, because I couldn't cope with figuring it out at that point in time) and make an appointment with the CPA" and I just kind of want to lie down on the floor for a long time.
I get tired out - I mean emotionally - easier now than I once did.
Added:
- My trash didn't get picked up today. We have rollcarts, which have limited capacity, so they fill up. I don't know if I can fit another week's trash in there, and anyway, I paid for this week's pick up. I called the city but of course they close at 4 pm and it was after 4 when I got home, so I'll have to remember to call tomorrow.
I HOPE this is not "well, we didn't get paid so we won't pick up your trash" because I had that credit on my WATER bill which the trash pick up is included in, but I could see there being a screw-up in City Hall that resulted in my trash service getting cancelled.
I'm hoping it was just an error and they forgot to do it (though everyone else on my street had theirs picked up)
The I-don't-know:
- We might get sleet and snow Wednesday. On the one hand, if it's bad, I'm hoping it's bad enough to shut campus so I don't have to risk my neck getting up here (people drive badly in my town in winter weather). I don't *want* to miss a day, especially a lab day, and if the bad weather carries over into Thursday, I'll have to reschedule the exam I am giving....or, if campus is open but commuting is hard, deal with the agony of arranging for make-up times.
On the other hand: a snow day would be nice. I have already told myself I can stay at home and either work on the Vigenère cipher quilt top or knit on the sweater or crochet on the afghan. I do not get enough times when I can just sit at home without having to think about working on something for work or having to be somewhere or....any of that.
We also need some cold weather, I think, to hopefully knock back the bugs and weeds a little.
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