I'm contemplating running out at lunch time and buying three skeins of Homespun in a dark blue color. Or something equally manly looking.

In case I have to make a prayer shawl (well, I'll call it afghan for him) for my dad.

Yup, the second set of tests came back - still elevated. He's going in for an abdominal MRI today. He still won't tell me what they think might be wrong.

I am trying very hard not to freak out about this. So far, I'm succeeding. As long as I can keep busy, I can avoid freaking.

It helps (a little) that my uncle (a doctor) said that any of the "worst" things they could find are at the stage where they're almost 100% treatable/curable.

I have to admit, I'd almost rather they found something today (but, please God, not pancreatic cancer) than having to keep looking and thinking and figuring.

Still, I don't like the thought of him going on chemo or radiation or having to submit to some kind of surgery where they have to cut something out. I'd much rather it be something small and silly and either not worth worrying about, or something treatable with a change of diet or a little, low-side-effects type of medication.

I don't know whether to go ahead and start the shawl/afghan with more general prayers, (and then figure I can pass it on to someone else in need of one), or whether to wait until I hear for sure. With the way my knitting time goes...I wonder how long it takes to do one of them. I want to be sure to have it if I have to make an emergency trip up there.

And now, I can hear my father's voice in my head, saying as he said so many times during my growing-up years, "Erica, don't borrow trouble." So I guess the best thing to do is NOT, to keep busy with my various other things, and just be ready, on some small level, if I have to be.