So close, yet

 I had hoped to get the "alive" mitts done tonight, but it was another long day over at school (there's just a lot of "administrative" work we have to do now, and I had some late work come in from people who have "permitted to hand in late work" accommodations (this is a thing now) that I wanted to get graded. 

So once again it was 5 as I got home, and I had to shower and wash my hair and fix dinner and I wanted to do 20 more minutes of piano practice because I am once again showing a tiny bit of improvement and I want to keep that going. 

And I worked pretty solidly on them (I rewatched The Shining, it was on IFC. I hope that wasn't a mistake (and IFC left in some scenes - the bathing woman one in particular, that I don't remember from the time I saw it before on a more basic network. And that scene's pretty scarring so I think I'd remember it). 

I DO like these mitts. A light dk knitted on small needles (I used a US 1 here) gives a pleasing fabric - it's dense without being stiff (though that might only work with a wool, or high-wool-content yarn) and I think they will be warm. If we ever get weather cold enough* again to make mitts a reasonable thing to wear. 

I still have to do the thumb on the second one; I just ran out of steam tonight and I need to get to bed, there's a program on monarch butterflies I want** to go to tomorrow so I need sleep.

 * Part of my malaise, I am SURE, is I am feeling "the eternal now" again - just like in 2020 - nothing ever changes, nothing gets better, it's just work, work, work and deal with bad news and there's literally nothing good. And the fact that it's been in the upper 80s every day with no chance of rain, and it's going to continue for at least the next 10 days, doesn't help

 

** I also kind of don't want to. I'm tired. I've either been out doing things or sick every weekend for a long time - yes I took a few flying Friday afternoon trips to run bigger errands (in Sherman) than I can run here, but I haven't had a solid day to do just what *I* want in a very long time. And that's upsetting and makes me wonder what exactly I was made for - am I just here to fill out paperwork and placate feelings and be talked at? Or do I sometimes get to relax and create and be?

And it's frustrating to get nothing of my own done (I still have not finished quite all the samples I collected in AUGUST); it's all "duty" stuff. And it's bumming me out.