A Sunday Stealing

 Roger does these occasionally; Kelly did the one this week. So okay, I'll do it too:

Reveal yourself in 24 easy steps

I am not: someone who ever really felt like she fit in

I hurt: Emotionally, or physically? Physically the biggest issue right now is my right knee. Emotionally.....well, I am pretty sensitive and easily wounded, even over completely idiotic stuff like that "childless cat lady thing" (see the first response)

I love: Being able to make stuff

I hate: When someone wastes my time or lies to me

I fear: winding up all alone when my close family and older friends are gone

I hope: eventually I'll find a bunch of what they sometimes call "running around friends." I was just thinking yesterday, when I walked through Michael's, how it would be fun to have another person with me so we could laugh at the dumb things (a halloween decoration featuring a mummy on a toilet) or coo over the cute things

I regret: Sometimes I regret moving so far away from everything I knew. I mean, I've lived here longer than anywhere I've lived and yet I still feel a bit like an outsider, since I don't have roots here and didn't graduate from high school here. And I am still not used to the climate.

I cry: at all kinds of things. I cry at Bluey episodes. I cry at the part in Encanto when Mirabel worries about not having a Gift, and worries that Antonio won't get one either. I cry when I think about sad things - the other day I was reminded of 2020 and I remembered how my cousin Paul (who was much older than me, but still) died all alone in a hospital corridor - he caught covid at the rehab center he was in after hip surgery, and by then the hospital was so overloaded that he never even made it to a room. His wife couldn't even say goodbye to him; she was not allowed in. 2020 was a TERRIBLE year and I think a lot of us were changed forever by it

I care: about good teaching and trying to get my students both interested in the subjects, and gaining the skills they need in them

I always: waste too much time on the internet

I long: to feel more content

I listen: I always have something on in the background, either music through Pandora, or one of the Lofi streaming channels (did you know they have one inspired by Bluey now? (in the drawing* she is shown as looking more mature, like she's doing her homework for high school)

(*if I were spelling it phonetically for the show, it would say "drawring" there)

I hide: A lot of times I hide when my feelings are hurt because (a) I don't like confronting people and (b) all my life I've been told I'm too sensitive, so I figure most of the time I"m being unreasonable about it

I write: On this blog, mostly. I'm doing some research but it's not at a 'write it up' point yet

I miss: The people I cared about that I've lost, either to death or to them moving away and losing contact

I search: For stuff I tucked away and can't remember where I put it. I just relocated my Rosy Maple Moth plushie that I had tucked away in 2022 when I was having the work done on my house.

I learn: I do a lot of reading to learn stuff, most recently I read that article about the hermit that I linked to, and I have the new Scientific American I should read some time soon

I feel: Okay, right now. Maybe a little lonesome, weekends sometimes are, despite having church

I know: I probably need to go out more and try to make more friends, but it's hard, and I've experienced enough rejection (by the age of 20, even!) to last a life time

I want: to get up shortly and go try to do a workout even though my knee slightly hurts

I worry: about too many things to name right now. Mostly that I won't have help when I need it

I wish: people were better at empathizing with others

I have: way too much yarn, yet I buy more

I give: I wrote my monthly check to the church ("tithe") this morning, and I make donations to the regional food bank

I wait: for the weather to be cooler and more fall like

I need: Lots of things. Most of them emotional/intangible. I do wish I had a bigger house with better storage and more bookshelves.