And that's good

 I am not sleeping all that well. Part of it is it's just HOT and even with air conditioning, it's hard to get comfortable - to save money/energy/wear and tear on the unit I've got the temperature set higher than what I'd set it at if none of those things were any object, so I wake up every couple hours.

One of the things I'd ruminate on (oh I hate middle of the night thoughts. I try hard to track my mind onto nicer things, like imagining a dollhouse and decorating it, but it does not always work) was the bloodwork I had blood drawn for yesterday - what if something's really wrong? what if I turn up diabetic and have to upend my diet and cut way back on carbohydrates? what if my ALT is sky high, given that it was a point or two high last time, could I have some stealth cancer?*

(*my dad's cancer initially showed up in a wonky blood result - I think it was elevated ALT)

And then I thought: what if I'm not going to live much longer, does it even make sense sinking so much money into a house that would probably just wound up being sold to one of our local slumlords?** And yeah yeah, I shouldn't care, but - what if I wind up needing  that money for *treatment*?

(**small, older houses like mine, even nice and well-kept up ones, are not popular for owner-occupancy; people here want ranchettes or minimansions so most of the houses that would have been considered wonderful in the 1950s wind up today as rental houses that slowly decay)

My doctor uses a secure online system for records which has the benefit of you being able to see all your test results as soon as they're done (at least for this - I suspect for things like biopsies they still want to tell you IN THE OFFICE). And I got an e-mail today saying my labs were back (that was FAST - I had the blood drawn at about 9 yesterday).

Opened the metabolic panel first, because the ALT was my biggest worry - it was a point or two high last time and while my doctor told me not to worry, I did.

Nope, back down in the middle of the recommended range. And glucose was normal. And the other pancreatic/liver enzymes, all in normal range. Blood lipids, normal, electrolytes, normal. Everything in the recommended range, saints be praised. 

So at least I can relax about THAT - and I am slowly scraping together alternative sources of funds for the renovation. I'm gonna be house-poor for a while, but I keep telling myself that it will be worth it come, say, October, when the fall storms start up and I know there will be no water damage, and I don't have to worry about mice getting in so easily (one of the projects is fixing damaged subfloor that I think is serving as their portal). It'll be a few weeks of disruption and misery, and then things will be much better

I just wish I wasn't coming off a couple years of disruption and (less-intense but more prolonged) misery....