once again? still?

 So I'm feeling less than totally-wonderful again. Started again with lower abdominal pain, kind of wrote it off for a few days. Got worse over the weekend, plus I was alone (except for church) most of the weekend, and that makes my mind go bad places.

Some of the pain was a bit off to the sides (either side) of the midline. I commented about it somewhere online and someone reminded me of a mutual acquaintance of ours who had died of ovarian cancer after delaying getting it checked out. So, despite having no family history, and not having the "bloating" they describe as a symptom, I googled symptoms.

 

I had....a few of them? And a few risk factors (never having been pregnant, apparently, is a risk factor, as is being over 50). Yes I know it's pretty uncommon (1 in 75 women get it, one site helpfully told me, but of course my brain goes "That's more than a 1% chance, that's almost a 2% chance!")

 
After church Sunday (being up and moving around, having something to distract me) I felt markedly better for a while but then late in the evening the anxiety came back.(Yes I am trying to get a gynecologist's appointment - one of the things that worried me that was because of COVID and wanting to avoid everything except the essentials, and also the group I had gone to for years being in my mom's town, I hadn't seen once since 2019, and that added to my worry - of course something could have been cooking away undetected in all that time and now that it HURTS it's really bad and oh no am I going to die? How do I dispose of all my crap before I die so my mom isn't saddled with doing it? Do I put off doing reno on my house because if I'm going to die, what's the point?)

Yeah. Uh. They say in "older" women confusion and agitation can be a symptom of a UTI, maybe it manifests as increased anxiety for me? Because this morning, I woke up feeling chilled, feeling tired, and achy. Broke down and took a couple tylenol - the pain over to the "sides" of midline resolved (I was wondering if it was actually a tissue or if it was arthritis). Also heat over my lower abdomen helped a LOT. And I realized that many of the more acute symptoms I'm having are indicative of a UTI. So I'm trying to think "horses" rather than "zebras" because UTIs are pretty common in "older" women and in heavy women and it's possible that I've tipped over onto the prediabetic side of things (yes I am watching my diet more closely now) and that makes you more prone to them

(Also, the "side" pain gets worse upon sitting for a time, and improves upon standing/moving around - which suggests to me something more musculoskeletal).

I have a message in to my doctor's office but there were no "open" appointments on the patient portal before June; I don't know if they're booked up or if she's on vacation. If it's the first I MIGHT be able to get a cancellation/squeeze-me-in appointment. I'd rather go there; the minute clinics don't do bacterial assessment of your sample so they can't tell for SURE, they just look for blood cells which could also be kidney or bladder stones or other things. Also my doctor might be better at tailoring a specific antibiotic to me.

(I'm wondering if the first time, if five days of keflex wasn't enough/wasn't the right one. Difficulty level: I am allergic to a couple of the ones doctors like to use most for this).

I do hope I can get in - not just to get it treated but being told "yeah, it's an infection" instead of....other things....would ease my mind a lot. But given how awfully, unfoundedly anxious I felt this morning - well, maybe that's the "agitation" they talk about. And the pain right now is worst where you'd expect it to be for this.

But man, getting old is a drag. Better than the alternative, for sure, but....still, a drag.

****

ETA: got an appointment with the PA (my regular doctor is out this week). He listened to my symptoms, tutted over my fear about the ovarian cancer (apparently very unlikely given my symptoms but a gyn appointment is still in order), and had me leave a "sample" which will be cultured and depending on what they find, that will determine antibiotics

I was told for the time being to take the "plain" Azo.....which is easier said than done, there are about five different Azos. I think I got the right one. At any rate it says "antibacterial and pain relief" so...okay. Not sure I love the warning not to use if on a sodium restricted diet (I am not REALLY but I limit sodium for my blood pressure, guess I'll just have to be extra careful with diet while I take it)

My weight was unchanged from January which was good news given what I worried about - I haven't altered my diet or exercise (haven't tried to lose weight) so either a big loss or a big gain would have been worrisome. 

I feel better than I did this morning, not sure how much of that was "feeling worse upon waking" or "dealt with my worries"