with some trepidation

 Today is the first day of classes this fall. I am more anxious about this semester than I have been for any, save for perhaps the first semester I ever taught. There is so much to remember: the seating chart, the disinfection of the desks, making sure Zoom is working for the people "tuning in" from home, mask-policing....

It is my tradition to post a video of Brahms' "Academic Festival Overture" on the first day of the fall semester but this year I almost want to try to find a slightly-distorted or one of those "major key to minor key" versions because it feels like everything is off and slightly wrong. 

I am reminding myself the students will be anxious, I am reminding myself anxiety sometimes comes out in people being demanding or unreasonable. That doesn't help, because I am anxious too. (Though my anxiety manifests itself mostly as being teary or short-tempered)

I'm just....I'm praying things go okay. I can't even hope for them to go WELL. "No one dies or winds up with lifelong disability" is I feel like the best I can hope for right now. 

Maybe next fall (please God) we will be able to start a semester in a more-normal way. Maybe next fall there will be a reasonably good treatment or even a good vaccine. I hope I get to teach again like I used to teach, at least once before I retire.

(Freaking New Blogger, you can't even embed videos normally any more, you have to go through their proprietary linking thing. I am ready for EVERYTHING to stop being wrong and broken)