today's the day

It's supposed to be cooler today than any day in the next two weeks, so I expect this afternoon will be the best transplanting time. Twin Oaks opens at 9:30 so if I leave here a minute or two after nine, I will get down there as they are opening, and I can buy my plants.

And then, I have decided to try braving Kroger. Yes, going IN. I'll wear a mask, of course, and be careful, and I'm hoping that mid-morning on a Wednesday that is some days after pay day and a few days before the mid-month payday for people who get paid that way, means it won't be busy.

There are things they have that I can't get easily otherwise:
the thin egg noodles
Golden Syrup (I hope the supply of that has not been interrupted, or that they still have older stock)
the swirled rye bread I like
their house-brand skimmed milk
Ghirardelli chocolate chips.

I should probably sit down and write a list in case they have the one-way aisles set up or something else that will discombobulate me and make me forget things I might want. I have yet to see that but my mom reports the Jewel near her does it that way - so I presume if you forget something, you can't backtrack. I don't know if you can do a big loop and start over, or if it's one pass through the shelves and then you're done, but I'm kind of unwilling to risk forgetting something and finding I'm not permitted to go back for it. (I can't quite imagine a store doing that but who knows?)

I can tell I'm a little sensitive today somehow - one of my mutuals on twitter shared video from a Chicago restaurant where part of the shtick is really over-the-top insulting people who come to order, and I get that that's a thing, and I get that that's how some people do "affection" (? I guess) but I just....I can't. If someone spoke to me like that, even if I knew it was in jest, I'd probably either turn and run or start crying. (As I told him: too many years hearing that kind of stuff in the schoolyard for me to be able to laugh it off now). And it is interesting: what is it in a person's emotional make up that makes it easy for them to laugh that kind of thing off, or be hurt by it EVEN IF they "know" it's not intended as such. (But I would be hurt).

Like I said: I'm probably too sensitive. But I'm also 51, so that's unlikely to change - all I can do is not show an outward reaction, or avoid situations where I might encounter that.

But yeah, another night of not-great sleep, broken with stress-dreams. Also I find I dream a LOT now about going to stores. I suppose it's because it's something I'm mostly not doing? I can't remember if the supermarket I dreamed about going into last night was one I've actually been in or one my brain just invented - the layout was different from most of the ones I've been in in recent years, and the sliding door to enter was at the side rather than on the front (and now I'm wondering if one of the slightly-older supermarkets I used to rarely go to, all those years ago in Ann Arbor, had that layout)

But yes, I am feeling very much like I would just like to be able to be hugged and to be told (in a way I would believe) that everything was going to be all right - and that it was going to be all right SOON, not, like, five years from now, because five years is a horrifically long time away)

I will say I wish I felt comfortable going into a "fun" store rather than just the outdoor plant store and the Kroger, but I don't think it's time yet. Maybe next week I consider Lulu and Hazel's, especially if I can put a backing together for one of the quilt tops I have hanging around, as they are once again taking quilts for longarming.