So, I need a new string trimmer. The one I've used for several years, the motor is slowly burning out - I cannot get the speed or torque on it I once did, and it doesn't really trim well any more. Lowe's has one that I want, on the "order online and do contactless pick up" and that's cool and all.
I'm getting one that's a BATTERY one this time, like the one my mom has, so I don't have to wrestle with a cord every time I use it. I'm getting a slightly overpowered one because in my experience spending less but getting an underpowered tool is frustrating and means the job takes longer.
But then I thought: you know, it would be really nice to get a couple of hanging baskets to put on the shepherd's crook outside my living room window, it would give a spot of color for me to look at when I worked. (Even once classes end, I will probably still be working at this desk, prepping for fall and also reading ahead on some stuff).
They had some online, including Callibrachoa and some moss-roses, both of which do well in that spot. So I happily clicked on the Callibrachoa and....."ONLY AVAILABLE IN STORE!"
Dangit. I guess they don't want people complaining they got a "bad" basket or something. But I really wanted a couple of hanging baskets.
So now I have to decide: when I order the trimmer, do I also go into the garden center to get some? (which will be tomorrow at this point, I think - I have Biostats in about a half-hour and also we are supposed to get very high wind tonight, so having hanging baskets hanging out is not a good idea - and I probably should bring in my hibiscus, which is actually thriving now out on my front porch, in, so it doesn't get damaged)
Is it worth the risk of maybe encountering an "asymptomatic spreader" just for a little bit of color in my life? (I don't have any seeds that would work in hanging baskets, and anyway, it would be weeks and weeks then)
I don't know. That's the thing I don't like - having to weigh "is this worth the risk" vs. "but this is something that will make me happy"
Is mere happiness worth the risk? I mean, going out for groceries or medicine, yes - that's essential. But how terrible would it be to get sick because I went out for a stupid hanging basket?
Then again: I feel some days like my soul is withering in me from a lack of fun or happiness or anything that feels like normalcy. I don't know. Maybe if I wear a mask and am VERY fast and go first thing in the morning?
I'm going to have to think hard about it but there is so much hard thought and calculation in everything surrounding this. I just want to go back to a time when I didn't have to worry so hard about everything.
Added: Maybe if I mask up it is worth it. And if they have some herb plants left I could buy them, too, to fill in where I yanked out a lot of blackberry vines* yesterday. I planted a bunch of herbs and things early last summer.....and then late-summer kneecapped me (I don't need to go into why again) and I didn't get back out to weed, and nearly everything died. Not EVERYTHING - when I was ripping out the blackberry I found a couple of marjoram plants hanging on and one of my sages and dangit, yes, I very nearly did cry over them, that they were still there and still alive, and I carefully cleared around them and then watered them well since the soil had got dry.
(*It is not the nice kind - the fruit do not taste good; they don't really taste like anything. Even the birds more or less avoid them. So it's not a plant I want to keep, especially because it will strangle other things)
But it would be nice to have a few more lavenders or some other sages or WHATEVER, especially since one of the things I've been doing of late is rage-weeding. Not today - we're supposed to get storms and very high winds, and I did bring in my hibiscus, which is really doing so well outside that I am going to just keep it on my porch (except for storm periods) until it gets too cold to have it there in the fall. (I had also trimmed it back after repotting it, which may have helped too).
But maybe....maybe I just spend a little money and not worry about the whisper of "but what if you lose your job later?" over my shoulder? I have some money still in the stock accounts, I have small amounts in two IRAs I inherited (sharing halfsies with my brother) from my dad, I have the equivalent of a year's expenses (if I live VERY frugally) in a savings account....and anyway, I'm good at stuff like being honest and showing up on time and sober so I'd probably eventually find another job, if not the kind of job I expected.
I'm also seriously considering working through one of the florists in my mom's town and arranging to have a plant delivered to her for Mother's Day (she would enjoy that more than flowers, I think) and yes, that's an added expense but I'm reaching the point of not caring; that anything that brings some kind of happiness is good.
4 comments:
Just out of curiosity, how many people in your county?
Of those, how many have tested positive or otherwise shown severe symptoms?
Of those, how many have been hospitalized?
And of those, how many have succumbed to the virus?
OK, it wasn't curiosity. If putting on a mask and gloves gives you a degree of comfort, do it and get yourself out. While no sense in going out just for the sake of going out, keeping yourself in and starving your soul of those things that brighten our day [like plants and power tools:)] can be just as corrosive to your health.
Wishing you the best of health and happiness.
I used to have a lawnmower that required a cord. (And sometimes, I'd sing to it, because it wanted a chord.) Anyway, codless is the way to go. But you should not have to risk your life to do it.
I live in a small town about an hour outside of Boston, and we’ve had one death and about 15 confirmed cases. It’s bad here and I don’t go anywhere except the supermarket every 2 weeks. However, by mid-May it will be safe frost-wise to plant outside and I will definitely risk going to a small local garden center. I’m figuring it will be a strange, sad summer so I’d at least like some flowers and tomato plants around to enjoy. — Grace
We've got a battery trimmer, and a battery lasts about 3/4 of the way around the inside of our back fence (if we haven't been diligent in keeping up with the trimming, which is always). So it might be worth your while to get a second (and maybe third) battery and a second charger if you've got a lot to trim and want to get it done at one time.
They're expensive, though. But I, too, got tired of dragging a tail of 100' extension cords, and I never got the hang of the gas-powered ones. So much of the work here is done manually because I'm better with muscle than with small engines.
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