Random little thought

It's gonna be terribly hot and humid today, and because it's "campus is officially closed on Fridays in the summer" (and there's a history of them shutting off the AC on the weekends in the summer), I decided not to go in to the office. (What remains to be done on the manuscript: finish up the tables, maybe edit the text one last time. It's close to done).

So I'm going to stay here and clean the place up a little (I have piano lesson this afternoon - normally it's Thursday but my teacher had another commitment last night) and relax a little.

And I went out this morning and did my local grocery run (I have enough food that I didn't need to do *big* shopping, and anyway, it's too hot to go to Sherman - my car is like 10 years old and I admit I do worry a little bit in really adverse weather about maybe getting stranded if something goes wrong).

So anyway. I also needed to get printer paper, so I had to go over into the non-food section of the store, which means you walk past the clothes section. And I saw some of the kids' t-shirts.

They're already promoting Fourth of July. (Well, I also saw a furniture store Fourth of July ad today). I guess it's the only holiday coming up now....really the only one until Labor Day.

Anyway, heavy on the red, white, and blue t-shirts. One said "Free to be me!" on it which is kind of an interesting slogan (I am old enough to remember "Free to be, you and me" from the 1970s, which I mostly remember as being about "you don't have to conform strictly to what people say your gender should do" - I particularly remember "William's Doll" (the point being: boys become dads or nurturers of other sorts, so let them play in a nurturing way) and also Rosie Grier's needlepoint.  So yeah, that one didn't get too much of a second look from me (except for the thought that Independence Day is again, really more of a community thing - it's more like "We all share these freedoms" rather than "I, personally, am free"*)

(*This does seem to be a modern theme in our culture: it's for me, forget the rest of the people. I think this also shows up in some of the newer hymns/praise-songs that are more about either "what God did for me, specifically" or, as some people have derisively called them "Jesus is my BFF" songs. And yeah, yeah, probably the best-known Christian hymn ever does say "saved a wretch LIKE ME" but....many other hymns are more about the attributes of God, or God's greatness, or the church as a whole, rather than as individuals. And I do wonder, if we lean too hard on "me" and forget about the "us," if that doesn't lead to allowing some of the divisions we see. I mean - I have people in the congregation with me that I consider friends, that I probably would never socialize with if it weren't for the commonality of our faith.)

But I saw another one, that said "Free to be Awesome!" and that one made me think. Probably think more than was was intended by the shirt, but.

My biggest thought - if, as many people point out, the true test of free speech is defending speech you dislike, isn't the true test of "freedom to be" being free NOT to be what others would define as "awesome" (Or - going back a few decades - being a little boy who plays with dolls, or a man who participates in a traditionally-feminine hobby, or a woman who, I don't know, doesn't want children)

Because it seems to me that "being awesome," especially all the time, is a huge burden. It's like the whole "rockstar" or "superstar" mentality - in a way,  it seems like you're always performing for other people, you are always "on." And you can't have an off day.

Wouldn't it be a greater freedom to NOT be awesome? To maybe, I don't know, kind of suck at some things? To be able to try stuff without the pressure to be great at it?

Like I said, I'm probably way overthinking it, but...I think having to be awesome would be quite a burden.

I'd rather just be me.