Monday afternoon things

* My exams for later this week (I give one tomorrow, one Thursday, one Friday) are all written. So I guess maybe I go to the informational meeting about the benefits changes this afternoon. Which then buys me tomorrow afternoon off, when I could probably grade....

they're doing  a LOT of changes; normally I don't bother with the informational meetings because I tend to do the lowest-level stuff they have; the only real add-on (other than my TIAA account) is dental insurance, which has more than paid for itself over the years (three crowns and a filling replaced in the time I've had it, plus a mouthguard, plus the regular prophylactic* care)

(*Yes, I giggle like a 12 year old at that word, though I wonder how many of today's 12 year olds know that as the "polite word" for a condom?)

* I think I pulled my right tricep, either in yesterday's dvd workout (which seems more likely as there's a tough arm exercise in there) or using the cross-country skiier this morning. I am in general just kind of sore, I don't know why, and I don't like that. I suppose this is what being 50 is like but part of the reason I work out is to hurt LESS the rest of the time.

* I mostly worked on an older project - I think it was from either the fall or Holiday 2017 Knit Simple - a big moss-stitch scarf out of a super bulky yarn. I had a few skeins of Rowan's "Baby" in a bright pink that were a long-ago Elann purchase, and I dug those out and started it probably a year ago. Never got very far but I decided that this fall and winter will be about finishing the stuff I started and never finished. I added about 40 rows to it over the weekend (mostly on Sunday). I'm not sure if I'll keep it or wind up giving it away. I have a lot of scarves...

* I finished watching the first season of "The Good Place," including the big plot twist (which I already kinda knew about).

I will say "The Medium Place" is a lot less-good than I'd expect a Medium Place to be. (Also, the idea of being there all by yourself - even as an introvert, I'd find that kind of hellish. Especially if you only get mediocre books to read).

I found myself thinking: which of those characters (who were condemned - yes, that's the plot twist - for different things) was I most like?

Eleanor seems like she's selfish and also kind of malicious/hateful towards people. Jason is merely selfish through self-centeredness; he's either so dumb or has fried his brain with so many chemicals that he can't think beyond his nose. I don't think I'm like either of those, because I don't tend to be self-centered except when I'm *really* overwhelmed and start seeing the random dumb things that happen as aimed at me and happening precisely to thwart or upset me.

Chidi - well, he's still my favorite, but I don't think I have quite the level of indecisiveness-through-ethical-dilemma he does. SOMETIMES I worry about "what is the best path here" but I don't, for example, agonize over which soup at the restaurant is going to have the least-harmful impact on the environment. I may sometimes make people around me miserable but it's not through being indecisive.

Tahani? Yeah, I kinda feel her. I want to be loved. I want to feel like what I am doing is good and...I admit, on some level, that people know it's me doing that good. And yeah, that's why she ultimately wound up in The Bad Place, because her motivations were bad.

(I admit, there are a number of things in the theology of the show I would quibble with, and this is one: your motivations have to be more pure than the actual good you do? That's an awfully high standard. I mean, yes, my other big theological quibble from my own theological background is that *no human is good enough on his or her own to make it to 'The Good Place'* but the idea that less-than-pure motives negates a good action....bothers me).

But yeah. Tehani is perhaps my least-favorite of the four but that may be because in some ways I'm most like her. (I am not tall and hot and perfect, alas). But I do understand that neediness and that "notice me! please notice me! Tell me I'm good!" mentality.

(And yes. As dumb as he is, as self-centered as he is, there's something oddly slightly endearing about Jason. Once in a while he'll get off a bit of truly Gracie Allen-inspired illogic, and that saves him for me than just "dumb wannabee-criminal type")

Eleanor I have a hard time with because of the casual cruelty she seemed to have been capable of during her life; I am much more likely to either (a) ignore people I'm angry with or (b) be really direct with them if I care about them enough to say "Look, I'm angry with you but I still want to have a relationship with you, so here's the problem" - I don't do passive-aggression. And just the random annoying people out in public, like the pamphleteers or the people with clipboards, it's just easier to walk by fast and say "sorry not interested" instead of coming up with an insult.

* I do need to look at the Harvest cardigan and fix up some problems with the stitch pick-ups; I might bring that tomorrow to work on while I invigilate.

* Am sort of tired today despite sleeping a solid 7 hours last night. I think it's the last gasp of the ragweed out there. I also have lots of people in my classes having lots of problems and I find that kind of thing kind of exhausting to deal with.