"The best revenge is not to be like your enemy."
I like that. I like that a *lot*. Because, inasmuch as I've ever had "enemies" in my life, it's been people who had some kind of a trait (like a tendency to be cruel to underlings) that I disliked strongly and was repulsed by. And being able to say, "Well, you're not like him" or "you're not like her" is somewhat of a comfort - even as that cruel person hurls abuse at you.
I also think of my buddy Craig, from grad school, consoling me after a bad supervisor upset me: "You just have to work with her. She has to live with herself." And yes, in my more-charitable moments, I could see that part of the reason this supervisor was miserable to the people who worked for her was because she was fundamentally stuck in a dead-end position without a chance to advance unless she put in a great deal more work (which she was unwilling to do) and her underlings, most of whom were grad students, would go on to do better things with their lives.
I suppose another translation of the Aurelius quote could be "Living well is the best revenge" where "living well" means "living a moral life and following your ethics and doing good"
I'm pretty sure I have a copy of the Meditations on my bookshelf; I should get it out and read it some time. (Especially given these other quotations)
* I also liked this article about how to negotiate the world despite not fitting in. It kind of turns the "why doesn't anyone like me" bit on its head, and when I'm at my strongest, yes, I can see that: by helping another person you help yourself. But the most important part of it to me is this:
"It’s one of the big secrets in life:
Nobody feels normal.
Nobody feels like an adult.
Nobody fits in.
Do you want to know, then, what the real solution is to fitting in?
Make other people feel like they fit in."
The first part of that: kind of a relief to hear. Oh, maybe there ARE people who claim they feel normal; they're probably also the people who were Team Captains or Head Cheerleader in high school and life has pretty much always been easy, at least in the human-relations part of it. But for the rest of us, the ones who have always felt kinda like we were mutants of some kind, because the Team Captains and Head Cheerleaders are held up as the "norm" rather than the outliers they actually are...well, it's good to think that there are other people who don't feel like they fit in.
Though I admit, some days, the "make other people feel like they fit in" idea kind of exhausts me and when I'm at my worst I want to sit down and go "NO. I have been emotionally carrying other people ALL. MY. LIFE., I want someone to do the heavy lifting for me for once" but of course it doesn't work that way, so you go home and try to get a decent night's sleep and then come back the next day ready to help others fit in in some desperate ploy to at least forget your own non-fitting-in-ness for a while. (And yeah, it does work. And there are a few people I fit in with - my rare meet-ups with Laura, for example, are good, because I feel like I fit in around her. And at church I feel like I fit in most of the time despite being deeply weird - never-married, childless, professional woman in her 40s - compared to most people there.)
* I worked hard yesterday - did a bit of work on the newest material for Policy and Law, graded a batch of homeworks, gave and graded two exams, and on top of that did all my piano practice and a half-hour workout. I'm telling myself if I can motivate myself to finish the Policy and Law stuff today, I can take tomorrow entirely off. (Not going to Sherman: it's going to be cold and windy and I can manage with things I can get locally; I tried out the Ree Drummond black-bean burger recipe last week and found it very good, so I might do a repeat of those; I can get the reduced-sodium black beans I use locally, and in fact, may even have another can on the shelf. And I might do a salmon loaf again; I have canned salmon on the shelf.)
I still haven't put the binding on the quilt but of course I also have many knitting projects to do.
And it looks like a two-episode New Pony? Could it be the season 7 finale already? (I know there is going to be a season 8; Equestria Daily is already discussing it). So my plans for tomorrow are to run out early and grab the few groceries I need, and then sit and watch Pony and knit.
* I also have a couple things to look forward to (and I REALLY need to start restricting my spending; had a big MasterCard bill this past month).
I ordered a couple more G3 ponies for my collection....Minty, who was one I really wanted badly but never could seem to find one in good condition despite her having been a common pony, and a Bumblesweet (another want) and Sparkleworks, who is just pretty. All from Ponies in the Sun, who has branched out from G1 to G3 recently. (I wonder if G1s are getting harder to find, or if she just ran across a cache of G3s, or if she realized G3s would sell, too, if for less money than G1s do).
I also broke down and ordered a stuffed Stitch (from Lilo and Stitch) from Amazon. I'd been looking at it for months, kind of wanting one, but telling myself I have too many stuffed animals already. (Well, I do.) But then the other day, after a hard day at work (I guess it was Tuesday), I fell prey to the "Treat yo'self" mentality and ordered it. It's supposed to arrive today.
Yeah, it's a weird and dumb way to operate, but at least it's not like eating my feelings (something else I'm prone to do) or buying really SUPER expensive stuff (like $300 shoes). But I will have to be more careful in the future as I look worriedly at my bank balance. (Maybe the future "treat yo'self" should be "start a knitting or crochet project you've been wanting to start" because that won't cost any money - it will be using yarn I already have).
*I can't believe only a week ago I was on the road to Longview for the meetup and the day shopping with Laura. I wish I could have more days like that. (Though I'm sure my bank account doesn't. But then again: it would be possible to find things that didn't cost a lot of money, I just wish the drive weren't so awful to get there.)
*I have finalized a Halloween costume, provided some local store has glow-sticks: I'm going to wear my plain black dress and stockings. If I can find the crocheted lace collar I think I have tucked away, I will add that. Put my hair up in a bun for the day. And activate a glow-stick and drop it into a test tube that I have labeled "Radium." If I'm really ambitious, I might see if I could mock up a Nobel medal out of cardboard and wear it around my neck....yeah, go as Marie Curie. Because it's dressing up, but it's a form of dressing up that (a) won't likely elicit giggles (or at least is no more likely than anything else) and (b) won't potentially offend anyone, because I'm a historical figure and also one whose heritage is not that different from my own. (Curie was Polish; I am Irish and German)
I briefly had the brainwave of wearing the cat paws and ears and making a badge that says "HELLO MY NAME IS MARIE PURR-IE" and if I were going to certain types of parties I would TOTALLY do that because I know some of my grown-up friends would find it amusing, but not for school.
* I made the mistake this morning of hitting the gas when I meant to hit the brake. A moment of inattention, I guess? Luckily, no harm was done - I had just backed out of my drive onto my (empty) street and all it meant was I jerked backward a little more than I intended.
(Weird, because I had partially watched the episode of Bob's Burgers where Bob lets (13 year old) Tina drive and she winds up hitting what was literally the only other car in the lot - which turned out to be the car of Bob's detestable rival, Jimmy Pesto. At least I didn't hit anything. (And I don't groan ominously when I drive. Well, sometimes, but usually that's when traffic is bad or I'm coming up on a stopped emergency vehicle and I can't safely get into the "far" lane)
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