Planning for break.

Today's the last day of classes. I've been up to my armpits in grading (or, if you prefer, "All covered up in alligators" which is actually a nice euphemisms for being up to another bodily part in alligators. I had never even heard that phrase before I moved here. One of the secretaries called me with a request one day and said something like, "But if you're all covered up in alligators, I don't need it right now." I thought is was odd and commented about it to our herpetologist, and he laughed, and said that that was a common phrase (?) around here, but it's usually stated as "up to your [not very polite three letter word for bottom] in alligators." The more you know....)

Lynn posted this link the other day: Guide to understanding the introverted. There's a fair amount of truth there, though I think my "hamster ball" is a bit more permeable and there are times when I can more actively spend time with people without being too drained. (Though the very last line of that is very true of me.)

I also like the list of "suggestions" for dealing with introverts (with bonus Fluttershy!) that I posted a while back:

 

I would add another one, which is closely related to #5: Don't talk over them.

Sometimes I wonder if it's not so much that I'm a true introvert, but that I am more easily irritated by difficult human behavior - that I'm less tolerant of it. I had an experience at a get-together recently (to be vague about it). This was a Christmas party for a group but we also had to conduct a business meeting at the same time.

Well, apparently that displeased one of the members. So as I was reading the minutes, she started talking over me, making marginal comments about people who were not present. This violated several parts of my "code" and I could feel my irritation rising. But I did what I do in class when someone persists in talking after I have said something: paused, cleared my throat, raised my voice, and just kept going. Totally ignoring the person. 

This is someone who has rubbed me the wrong way in the past; at one point almost bringing me to tears, though that was really because I was annoyed at myself for forgetting something and I really didn't need the constant repeated reminders about it. (In other words: violating #2 above).

But anyway. I really dislike it when people talk over other people, or interrupt them, because I consider attention a form of respect and of course not paying attention is being mildly disrespectful (but I can forgive that) but trying to DRAW ATTENTION TO YOURSELF RATHER THAN THE PERSON WHO HAS THE FLOOR is REALLY disrespectful in my book. 

I would say something to the person in question but (a) I'm one of the most-junior members of the group so I don't feel it's my place and (b) I don't know her as well as many of the other members do. And also, I get the sense that this is someone who doesn't take criticism lightly. In my family, if someone started talking over someone else, the person who had been talking would just STOP and look pained, and the person who had interrupted would go, "Gosh, I didn't mean to do that. Please continue" and then stay quiet. But I can't do that around other people because I find many people don't seem to be cued in to the sort of subtle dance of gesture and expression that often passes for reprimand in my family. So I don't always know how to deliver criticism so it will stick, and I either wind up being way too subtle, or going overboard and saying something that makes me feel like I'm being mean.

I'm trying to tell myself that the person in question may just not have people to listen to them on a regular basis, and they're "acting out." I can forgive it a little better that way....though I would hope it doesn't happen in the future. I do seem to deal with a lot of people who don't get much of an "ear" at home (or, who live alone, like me, and really don't have anyone to listen to them on a regular basis). I try just to be a good listener but there are times when it becomes difficult.

But, whatever. I find in recent years I've begun avoiding some "optional" holiday get-togethers, partly because I'm just so busy these days but partly because there are some people who have a way of making them less fun. 

I suppose it's possible I'm becoming more introverted by virtue of living alone. Barbara Holland, in one of her books, warned of this: that people who live alone tend to "fossilize" into certain behaviors. Her example, which makes me cringe a little bit, was how some people develop extreme political positions (right OR left) or get into conspiracy theory. I guess her hypothesis is that living alone makes you weird (or emphasizes underlying weird tendencies). I don't know. That seems a little uncharitable to me but whatever. I suppose in some ways I AM weird, but then I think I always have been.

I am SO looking forward to getting my break this year....going back up to be with my parents.  Because, as I said - we understand each other. Partly from long interaction (my parents have been married 53 years; they've known me (of course) as long as I've been alive). Part of it is we share either genetic or learned behaviors that allow us to interact well with each other - but sometimes that don't work so well with the outside world.

I'm also looking forward to doing some actual knitting. I've been busy enough (grading, cooking for others, etc.) that I've not done much the past few days. I am ALMOST done with the mitts for my colleague - I hope to have them finished for Monday, I think she might give an exam that day (also it's supposed to be COLD) and my plan is to get a little gift bag and put them in it with a note and stick it in her mailbox and just let her find it. (Another introvert tendency: when giving gifts over which there might be a big reaction, I prefer to give them, if not anonymously, at a time when I might not be there to get swept up in the reaction).

But I long to get back to knitting for myself. And I've been thinking of knitting for over break. I want to do the Flying Feather socks (there's a hint) that I thought of a while back, and also maybe modify the pattern to make a pair of Feathering Derped mitts. (I have some grey yarn I want to use for mitts).

And I've been purchasing or downloading as free patterns a number of toy patterns off of Ravelry. Because I have had a long (well, as long as I've been knitting or crocheting toys, at least in recent years) tradition of making toys over my break, because well, it's Christmas, and one of my Christmas memories as a child was TOYS! I grew up in an era (even when I was a kid) where you mostly got new toys on Christmas or your birthday (maybe one toy on your birthday, more on Christmas) but other than that, there were rarely other toys given you....oh, if you saved your allowance, you could buy small toys yourself, and sometimes there was the "You were really good and didn't even cry when the dentist did that filling on your back tooth, so here is a small toy horse" kind of reward-toy.

But I like making toys (even if just for myself, though in future years, when I learn better what Sarah-Jane's preferences are, there may well be toys made for her) over Christmas. It feels right, and also, having long spans of time free to work on something is good.

One I want to make is Mr. Ed. (That's a Ravelry link; that's the only link I could find for the specs about the pattern). Yes, another horse! I was thinking of doing him in a brownish shade like the original.....but now an idea pops up in my head: what about making a RED "Mr. Ed," and giving him darker yellow hair....and sticking an applique of half a green apple on his flank. I don't know. I might make one version of the pattern plain as directed, and see how it turns out, before trying to use it to make my own cuddly Big Mac. (But I admit it: I kind of want my own cuddly Big Mac.)

I also bought a copy of Dragon and friends (not a ravelry link, there). Because I still like dragons, too, and there's so much you can DO with them in terms of design. (Mythical beasts like that can take on many forms). Like monsters, I tend to prefer the friendly, not-mean dragon (Look at the picture of that one! He's roasting a marshmallow, probably over a fire he helped kindle!). Also you can have the fun of just choosing random yarn for them and you don't have to worry about verisimilitude. (Though then again: if there can be cartoon ponies that are purple and sky blue and bright pink....verisimilitude in toys may be an overrated concept). I have some nice blue and green variegated bulky weight I can use for this one. 

I may have to make one of the tiny knights (or more than one) to be a "friend" to the dragon as well.

(And on the same pattern designer's blog: a free pattern for a tiny baby seal and Inuit doll, to be used as tree ornaments. Supremely cute.)

I also have to decide if I'm going to try to carry along one of the sweaters-in-progress and see about finishing it, or whether to take the NEW yarn (for the cropped raglan) and see if I can make that sweater (or mostly make it) over break. And of course, yarn for socks mitts hats all kinds of other things. I really miss knitting when I don't have time to do a lot of it, and I admit I tend to way over-plan what I can complete over break, but that's because I have such large dreams of what I want to do that my hopes tend to outdistance the actuality.