Thought for today

 This "comic" is not as clever as I'd like it to be, but it's something I'm thinking about

Yes, globally speaking, I am one of the comfortable - I have a safe place to live and enough food and health care if I need it. I am going back to work next week and I admit some anxiety about that, especially since there seems to be considerable diversity in the seriousness with which people are taking the pandemic (and some people may be concerned but unable to do anything about it - like nursing-home workers who must go to work in this).

I desperately need some comfort but I can't find any. So I don't know if the "lesson" in this is that I need/deserve more affliction, and that bothers me, that sits uncomfortably with me. 

I am materially comfortable but my spirit is definitely not easy. I've learned some hard things this year about my fellow citizens, I've lost some of the remaining idealism I had. I can't see how I'm going to make this semester work. I don't like the idea of trying to make myself heard in a mask, but I must. I don't like the added technical burden of livestreaming lectures even as I know that's important for people with health issues or childcare issues. I am already bone-weary and the semester has not even started. And most of the sources of comfort I had in the past are closed off to me because of the pandemic. 

This is a time to be endured. I hope I make it through and there's something good on the other side of it but I admit every day I lose a little more hope there will be an other side.