Holy cow, guys

Redacting totally.

I chose unwisely to try to make the admin happy by teaching my upper division classes in person. Too late to change that now unless someone actually shows up sick in class. So I just have to live with it

And anyway  - we have so many commuters and people who work that it will come to campus eventually. I'd feel better if we were testing people but there's no plan in place for that.

Also, perhaps a big part of my irritation over the "I'm taking a vacation the first week of classes" is pure sour grapes from me having done almost NOTHING for fun (and NOTHING worthwhile in the way of work) all summer, and I shouldn't let my bad feelings about how my life worked out color my feelings about my students.

My concerns were stupid. I should have realized that; I spent my entire childhood and adolescence being told that, and also, often in adulthood.

I hope things get better some day. I hope I survive this. But I don't know at this point. 

I may take a few days off from the blog, I know I am boring everyone and I am boring right now. I hope that changes at some point too

This is what I get for being a people-pleaser. That's why I said do the upper division classes in person; I knew it would make the administration and the students happy