This is loss

All of 2019 is loss.

(Edited, about 1:30 pm, as per Roger's comment: it is not clear he has actually  passed but it looks grave, and I know paralysis - unless it is short-term and reverses - would be a terrible outcome for him)

Gonna temporarily put the rest of this below a fold in case the early reports were incorrect, though as much as I wish there would be improvement, I kind of feel doubtful...


though the fact that I just swore at the non-working copier and got it to work makes me wonder...that seems like it would have been a Charles thing to do

Taking the page break out now (9/8) because, as per Roger's comment, Charles did pass. Not unexpected but still sad.


My friend. Charles Hill - of Dustbury, one of the original blogs - has apparently gone on to his reward. He suffered a serious car wreck earlier this week (see Roger's comment on the post below) and apparently there was nothing that could be done.

(And thank you, Roger, for informing me, even though it's sad news. In a weird way I kind of expected it when the news "his daughter is with him" came out and also the fact that he wasn't angrily tweeting about what had happened.)

I admit, one of my prayers was "if it's Your will, let him recover; but if the injuries are so severe he could no longer live on his own, he'd hate that, just take him."

one of the worst things about being a person of faith is sometimes asking for what is best when it is not what you want.

I am very sad. He was a good friend to me even though we never got to meet in person - I talked on the phone with him once, just over a week ago. It was a lovely conversation and I wish now it hadn't been the last. Though I am glad I got to talk with him even once.

We commented back and forth on each other's blogs a lot, and he occasionally quoted me on his, and I always felt happy and flattered when that happened. 

I am very sad. May eternal light shine upon him

Doubly so because 2019 has had so many blows for me - the biggest being, of course, my father. But also two of my colleagues have moved on to other posts, the minister of my church is leaving, and now, just today, the excellent president of my university is leaving for another position.

I am going to have to think and pray hard about all of this; maybe this is a push that I do need to move back closer to my mom, try looking for a job elsewhere, I don't know. I do also know they say not to make big decisions when you are in grief but I don't know. It seems almost like so many things are coalescing to drive me from where I've been planted for 20 years...

But anyway. I have a ton of grading to do so I guess I go eat some lunch and then do that. The thing is, in this live, just as "after the ecstasy you have the laundry," also, "after the tragedy you have the work that must be done" and I have to keep doing what needs to get done.