Kind of cranky

It's been a too-long, and in many ways, too-distressing week. I'm tired and kind of crabby. Gonna try to (1) get it out here (2) try to cheer myself up...

* I never mentioned the outcome of the CPA appointment, I guess? He gave it a quick look, agreed that both Jackson-Hewett and possibly the IRS screwed up, his quick assessment was that if he could delve into it, it might be $600 I owed instead of the $1200. I thought about it, didn't ask him what he'd charge (I have no idea but I'm guessing a CPA is kind of expensive) but decided that if it was done RIGHT, rather than me just caving and sending the money, there'd be much less chance of the IRS coming back later and going "Well, you know....you actually owe a lot more." So I signed the power of attorney that allowed him to delve into the IRS records for me for 2017. He promised he'd have it done by the end of next week, so, before the September 25 deadline for getting back to them.

If I am satisfied with what he does (like: if he actually DOES meet that deadline), I am just hiring him next tax time and I told him so. My taxes will be more complicated this coming year with stuff from my dad's estate coming in....at least he reassured me that the life-insurance money I get is NOT taxable.

* A note to all the kiddos waiting for the bus: when a tired old adult who is DRIVING TO WORK so they can EARN MONEY in part to PAY THEIR TAXES which in part GO TO PAY FOR YOUR EDUCATION drives by, PLEASE do not pantomime that you're going to run out in front of our cars.

There are rules we have to abide by to keep you safe. If we were to hit one of you, even IF you ran out intentionally, we'd be in HUGE trouble. Just, stay up on the sidewalk; it's what they're there for.

* Similarly, fellow adults: Don't try to pass a school bus that is stopped and has its warning arm out. All you are doing is enraging parents and maybe leading to even MORE restrictive laws (like: "These streets are closed to car traffic from 7 am to 8 am and from 3 pm to 4 pm) for the law-abiding people.

* I'm tired out from having to have been so much of an adult these past six weeks or so. I mean, I'm glad I can be someone my mom can lean on a little bit (and really, she is not doing it excessively much, just occasionally asking my advice on a few small things, or maybe needing someone to commiserate with) but...yeah.

I get especially annoyed when I see people in the news, people with more power and money than I have, and a greater number of "helpers" in their lives, acting like spoiled children. And yes, I know: be kind, for you never know what hard battle someone is fighting but I am also tired out and I see people seemingly wanting to cause more problems for other people, and I just want to throw up my hands and scream "WHY" at them.

* I'm also frustrated by the continued impulse in our culture to mock and belittle people who have different interests or come from different backgrounds. Again: life is hard. It's a sin to make someone else's life intentionally harder. And yes, I DO think it's a sin and I'm going to call stuff sins that are bad and wrong and damage our relationships even though the concept of sin is currently unfashionable. Be better, people.

Fun fact: you can disagree with someone without getting all in everyone's faces about it.

* Because my AAUW group cares about me, I know, I did have to rehash some of the story of my dad's death so they all knew. I mostly didn't cry but yeah, I'm getting really tired of telling people.

One woman who didn't know (several members don't read their e-mail; the President sent out an e-mail telling people) had asked me at the beginning if I had been doing any knitting and I kind of sighed and said "not really" and she asked me if I'd been unwell, so I had to go into it...

I do want to get back to knitting again. I give an exam today and dragged along the crochet afghan, even if it's large and not ideal for invigilating, because I really had nothing else at a stage that would be easy as a carry-along project. I might need to start that simple "Mr. Rogers Style" cardigan I bought the green yarn for; I think the back is entirely stockinette after the ribbing at the bottom, and that would be a good invigilating project.

(And now I just remembered the hat I started making on the trip up to Illinois in July. It would have been an easier project. Oh well)

I think probably everyone who does any kind of needlecraft maybe always needs to have a simple carry-along project going. So you have something if you suddenly have to go somewhere and wait, or if you have distressing travel (going for a bereavement, going to sit in the hospital with someone, waiting in a hospital/doctor's office yourself), or for those times when your brain is so tired that even the thought of turning a sock heel is too much. For me, that tends to be the stockinette parts of things - the backs of sweaters, the boring parts of socks.

Or I suppose, if you have to evacuate somewhere (thinking of the hurricane) and you have enough time to grab more than a few pair of clean underwear and your important documents...I know for me probably the very NEXT thing I would grab, if I could, after necessary documents, my medications, and a couple clothing changes would be
a. some kind of small stuffed animal to hang on to*
b. some kind of project that could be done under loud or disorganized conditions, but that would take enough time to do I'd be unlikely to finish it right away.


(*And hell no, I wouldn't give it up to the first crying child I saw. I know there are people who'd expect that but....yeah. And there are some disaster-response groups that are beginning to recognize that sometimes upset adults benefit from being handed a teddy bear, too...)

* Tomorrow is the needle-felting class and yes I really feel like I need it now. Both for the "reason to get out of town" and for the fact that I will get to stab a ball of wool repeatedly with small needles in the service of creating something (in this case: a small fluffy owl). It's something I've wanted to learn for a while, and I assume we get to keep the mat and the needles after the class, as the class cost said it included supplies, so maybe I'd be able to get more roving and make more critters in the future, or even use the method for decorating things (like, a plain sweater).

And I'm going to take one of their class schedules if they have them published. I can pretty much only do Saturday classes but....if they ever have a spinning class I could get to, I might want to give spinning a go again. I just wish they were not quite so far away.

* But yeah. I find myself just kind of feeling worn today, and while not exactly on the verge of tears, verge-adjacent. I could very much use one or more of these things:

- some cooler weather (supposed to be 99 today, and that's without the heat index)
- a hug
- something good to eat that has actual meat in it. (Sorry vegetarians :( ). I've been eating on the Honey-baked lentils all week and am getting kind of tired of them, and I have leftover bean and corn salad from last night. I will probably freeze some of the lentils (the salad is fresher and there's less of it to eat up). (But maybe I get carry out tonight from the good bbq place....)
- some time with friendly cats or nice dogs or some other kind of animal that just wants me to pet it and offers that kind of uncomplicated animal friendship.
- time with a friend where I DON'T have to rehash what I've been doing for the past six weeks. Where we could just sit and knit or watch a dumb silly movie on tv and laugh or go hiking or I don't know what.
- maybe for someone to wash my hair for me? You know, like at a salon? I tend not to be big on physical contact other than quick hugs but being able to lie back with my hair in a sink and have someone else deal with it for me (and maybe even set it and dry it so it looks less messy than it normally does) would be nice. And yes, I know this could be had for not very many moneys, but....I don't know any of the salons in town....
- or at a minimum, someone else to fix my food for me tonight, which probably can and will happen.