"Darn it, Spike!"

Long story short: A committee I belong to had something we could have done, but didn't normally do in the past. A campus admin sent an e-mail about it while I was on break. I honestly forgot it, figuring one of the other people cc'd on the e-mail would handle it, seeing as I was out of town.

They didn't. (See why I said I related to Twilight Sparkle?) I got a somewhat agitated e-mail from the admin this morning: people are calling me about this, why didn't you get in touch with them? My interpretation of the e-mail, fairly or unfairly, was: LOOK YOU HAVE FAILED AT BEING AN ADULT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS.

Big, heavy, sad, sigh. And I am reminded of something I said a long time ago when stuff was blowing up with students: "People expect me to cut them infinite slack but I get cut no slack" and while that's probably not true, it often FEELS true.

Part of my discomfort is I don't like speaking on "behalf" of an entire group. But I guess I have to, I checked the CCs on the original e-mail and one person is the one who NEVER checks their e-mail (seriously, I think people who don't check their e-mail more often than monthly should not give out their address. I don't give out my cell phone number because it's not a reliable way to reach me) and the other is out of town for an extended period.

Big, heavy, sad sigh.

So I drafted up a very terse but professional e-mail, and since I'm speaking on behalf of lots of people, I sent it to the admin for approval. If I get it, I'll e-mail each person in question (well, those for whom I have e-mail addresses) during part of my office hours. INSTEAD of doing my own work.

I'm just....I don't NEED this. And I get tired of it. It's like, the one time I forget to do something it's like OMG THE WORLD IS ENDING AND YOU FAILED. If I ask someone else to do something and they don't, it's like, "Whoa, man, no biggie, don't get upset."

This is kind of why I hate having the reputation for being responsible - you drop one ball of the fifteen you're juggling and everyone points and screams about it, never observing that you're managing to juggle FOURTEEN FLIPPING TENNIS BALLS.

I'm so tired. I didn't need this today. But I guess I've matured - a few years ago I'd have put my head down on the desk and cried, this time I just wanted to but did not, actually.