Some random thoughts

- Visiting (Sunday) went fine. The person I thought I didn't know, I was forgetting - some years back I had visited him (when his wife was still alive) in earlier rounds of me being a visiting elder. And the couple I knew, well, it was just good to see them. (And they still have the little dog that I "babysat" a few years back, and I think the dog remembered me)

- A couple funny things. Or maybe not funny so much as "yeah, I already knew that but now someone else is confirming it" - the minister made some kind of a comment like, "You seem to like things very 'set'" and I kind of laughed and thought (but didn't say) "Oh, you have no idea!"

He also asked me if I was the oldest child in my family. I know some psychologists have sort of debunked the birth-order thing, but as much as there is anything to it, I do fit the stereotypical "oldest child" pattern.

He had also said in the sermon last week, as part of the message, that a person's best strength is often also their worst weakness, and I can totally see the truth of that: I often think my diligence and level of being able to be responsible are my strongest strengths (and the thing people tend to compliment me on), but also, they are the things that kill me. (Hopefully not literally, though there might have been something to my doctor's suggestion that my high blood pressure was partly a personality thing). And I tend to take responsibility for things that maybe aren't really my responsibility. I ask the other elders to call me if they can't serve on the week they're scheduled, but some of them sometimes forget that, and there have been a number of times where I nervously scan the congregation before church to see if "my elders" for that week have got there yet. And I relax when they do. (Though in my defense, perhaps - if someone's absent it's really my job to either grab someone else and ask them to serve, or to do it myself)

It's....interesting....working alongside someone who is a very "big" and forceful personality (I mean that in the best possible way) but I realized again how quiet I often am and how sometimes I don't know what to say. Then again, I tend to be good at just listening, and allowing pauses to maybe be a little longer, and that sometimes allows someone to say something they might have to work up to a bit.

And I realized that's part of my discomfort with the phone: I don't really have a "script." I do great in situations where I know what I'm going to say, like teaching - but in situations where there isn't a set script, I get nervous and worry about saying the wrong thing and sometimes get tongue-tied. And the silences get uncomfortable, whereas if you're sitting across from someone, sometimes it feels like you don't NEED to talk.

And also with the phone - there are no expressions to read. I once claimed I was bad on picking up non verbal cues but now I realize I was totally wrong in that; I'm actually very good at picking up non verbal cues from people when I'm talking face-to-face - it's on the phone where there's no ability to see expressions (or via e-mail, which is even worse, because no tone of voice) that I either over or under interpret things.