Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Long-term projects

I've got a bunch. That may actually be some of my distress. (Why can't I feel about projects like I feel about novels? It can take me six months or more to get through a thick Victorian novel but it never bothers me. I like "slow reading," which is another post for another time).

I got the zipper band done and the zipper in Basketweave last night. I started to sew on the first sleeve but just couldn't keep going on it. Part of it may be that it is now really too warm to wear a wool pullover and whenever I do finish this, it'll have to be tucked away (safe from carpet beetles) until the fall. Normally with sweaters I get excited as I get near the end and just want to finish it but oddly I don't feel that with this one.

(Again. It may be allergies. Or it may just be life-stuff going on. So far 2014 has been a year full of lots of sad things, and I'm just kind of sad and at loose ends and right now it's hard for me to get excited about much).

I've also been quilting on the quilt in the frame. I'm not quite half done with the borders so it will still be a while. I have to be in the right mood to work on this. I'm marginally more interested in getting this done so I can put together a new top, backing, and batting and put it in the frame.

And the other "long term project"? (Getting my new computer). Yesterday afternoon around 4:15 they said that "We're just checking to be sure all the drivers work, and then we're going to pack it up and we'll call you." They never called back. (Obligatory, stereotypical, joke about why computer guys have such a hard time getting girlfriends: they don't think to call back). I assume that means something went wrong with one of the drivers. I don't know whether to call today (I am beginning to feel like the persistent widow in that parable, and not in a positive way) or to wait for them to call or what. Or, since it was intimated that part of the problem was "this machine was built for Windows 8 so Windows 7 is giving it problems" to just throw up my hands and go "OK. Sell me a copy of Windows 8 and install it on the computer so I can actually HAVE  a home computer one of these days."

I don't know. I've gotten my hopes up so many times with this that I think I'm being taught "Don't EVER be happy about ANYTHING because you will only be disappointed." Seriously. I was so stupid, I got really excited yesterday afternoon when they said "We're just testing the drivers." I shouldn't have.

I guess I just have to hope that my office computer (Which still runs XP, and there's been no word of a replacement or update: our IT department is down to like 2 guys so they spend all their time putting out fires, so to speak) holds up until I get the new home one. Or I'll be doing all my work in the student lab, and getting booted out when the room is needed for a class.

Again I say: being an adult is way harder than what I was told.

And I do just feel tired and sad. Part of this may be, as I said, allergies, part may be situational (recent deaths of several people I cared about on some level, lots of gray days here which normally don't affect me but seem to have of late, a sense of being taken for granted for everything I do but when I need help, no help is forthcoming). Part may be medication-related. (I think at least one of the medications I'm on has "mood changes" as a listed side effect. I may just have to go off it and learn to live with bad hives again.)

Lynn linked the other day to a website of "15 Bizarre Human-Body Related Facts," where a claim is made that the more intelligent you are, the greater the frequency of dreams while sleeping. Yeah, great. Another downside to being smart. I've been having a lot of dreams I remember of late. Last night's one was that my house was falling apart (literally: I walked outside and looked at the kitchen wall. The house in my dream was covered with shingles rather than vinyl siding and I could see big cracks and gaps in the shingles, and between them, instead of the actual house wall, a whole bunch of crazy scaffolding. And somehow my backyard had become a junk pile where people had thrown old fenders and water tanks and stuff). And I couldn't figure out whom to call to come and help me, and what it made most sense to get fixed first, and how on earth was I going to afford all of it?

I have a nagging sense that that MEANS something....not that there's literally something big going to go wrong with my house shortly (I don't believe in prophetic dreams, at least not for stupid personal stuff), but that there's something....maybe it's that I feel like things around me are getting progressively worse and I'm kind of helpless to fix it...funding issues at work and dwindling church membership and all that. I don't know.

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