less than optimal

 So I had a couple packages coming - two books (same order but I guess shipped separately) from Bookshop, and a stuffed toy capybara. They were all due to arrive today. I have informed delivery so I can see when things are coming and when they get delivered.

Well, early afternoon I got a "your package is ready to pick up at the post office" message

Well, okay. Never seen that before. Maybe the carrier had too many packages and that one was too large? (hopefully it's not *damaged* or something). So I thought, fine, on my way home, I'll swing by the post office (it's kind of a pain to get to - it's on the corner of two busy streets and either way you have to make a left-hand turn to get there)

So I did, got in about 15 minutes before closing.

The guy went and looked. No package. He said 'the carrier must still have it, come back tomorrow'

Okay, fine, whatever. Then I went to wal-mart: I'm supposed to get my second shingles shot tomorrow and am concerned that I won't feel up to venturing out, and I needed more milk. 

Walmart is not a pleasant place in the afternoon. Overcrowded, had several people nearly run into me with their carts, got into aisles where a group of people was walking in flying-wedge formation (so you can't get through)

Wound up behind someone smelling strongly of weed. I mean, it's legal (medicinally) here, but I still don't like having to smell it. 

Finally got out and started for home, saw the guy ahead of me try to run another car off the road or perhaps he was just not paying attention, the other car had to go way over into the other lane's verge and from there into the right turn lane for a bit. 

people just seem worse now.

I got home, there was no mail in the mailbox, and so I thought "great, maybe my "we're holding it for you" package will show up." Intentionally left my car out so the postal worker would see I was home in case that helped.

Also, the "paper mail" (including a bill) never showed up yesterday so I hoped it would show today

Eventually I thought I heard the truck and checked Informed Delivery - yes, it said my books had been delivered to the mailbox. 

The paper mail was there.

No books. Not on the porch, either.

Of course the website's no help, you have to go through LAYERS where it gaslights you ("OF course your package was delivered, what are you saying?") until you get to the page where you fill in the tracking number and everything. (I had to do a separate one for each book, as they were shipped separately). Also contacted Bookshop saying I was having the PO look into it, but if the PO just shrugs, maybe they will make it right. I mean, I feel bad about that, but....

But I feel bad about it. Everything here feels broken. There were a lot of empty shelves at wal-mart, and not just stuff that was part of the Bruce-Pak recall. That always makes me nervous - are our supply chains breaking again? Will getting food become hard? Also, there's just so few options here - the only other LARGE supermarket is at least an hour's round trip. 

So I don't know. Now I wonder if someone else received my books. I texted my neighbor to the north and asked her, she sent her boyfriend back out to check and no, no books there in their mailbox. I don't have contact info for the guys renovating the house next door and I've not seen them in a while.

Someone on bluesky told me "once in a while that's happened to me, the package shows up the next day" and I hope that's it, but.....

I've noticed that my life has become so small and constricted that things like this weigh heavily on me. Mail is literally the only thing I have some days; when it's fouled up things seem bad. And it's frustrating to feel you cannot depend on the US Mail, especially in a town where there is no longer a bookstore, and other shopping is equally limited (I have to mail order most of my clothing these days). If it becomes impossible to get packages - or if postal carriers just decide "she's ordered too much stuff, we're cutting off delivering" - I'm kind of stuck. 

I guess I could still do amazon and have them deliver it to the locker on campus, if I can figure that out. But it's easier having it come to the house! This was something the USPS used to do so well!

It really does feel like everything's broken since 2020 or 2016 or some fairly recent time, and I don't like it.