it cooled down

 Finally. And we finally got some rain. So I'm back working on the Chalcedony sweater (will take it to work on while invigilating an exam tomorrow). 

At some point I want to start a simple top-down raglan that I have yarn and pattern for but I didn't have time to consider it given that last night was CWF and it was like 8:30 when I got home. 

I pushed myself this afternoon and did my development plan summary. This is like the annual review thing. I hate doing them, because I see all the places where I messed up or could have worked harder and done more. And my teaching evaluation scores have taken a little dip; I don't know if it's "Generation P*" having different expectations, or if I was teaching more poorly, or if it was a fluke, or what. I'm trying to have more energy when I teach (though sometimes it's hard) and I did spend some time today after finishing it this afternoon doing extra prep for tomorrow (for whatever that's worth)

(*Generation P is "Inside Higher Ed's" nickname for the group of students who spent at least part of high school doing it "virtually" - their expectations are different and their study skills are, shall we say, not as honed). 

I mean, I have a good group of upper division students this year so maybe things will be better (it's still kind of early to tell with the intro class where they are really very young still, and there are so many students in that class it's hard to know them very much)

Honestly though one of the worst things about adulthood is you're STILL being tested from time to time, but you never get praise when you do well, you only get criticism for doing poorly, and so you have to assume the absence of input means things are okay. And for someone like me.....well, I know it's not healthy to crave outside validation but outside having anyone to come home who is happy to see me, it is a little frustrating to totally rely on yourself for validation. (I have to rely on myself for darn near everything, it feels like)

I also have to make time this week - when it's raining less - to go out and grab my next set of bags. Tomorrow I can't - class from 8 until 3, and then a meeting at church at 6, and there's just not time in there to do it.