Friday evening things

*Yesterday was my checkup. Good news, I can now drop back to only going in once a year, after 10 or so years of good bloodwork results (that don't seem to change) and minimal to no complaints. She was happy to hear that the physical therapy helped with the knees and abdomen. (I suspect that there are a lot of things, at least musculo skeletal things, that are better helped by good PT than by painkillers or perhaps even surgery, but PT *is* a big commitment of time and effort - fortunately most of the exercises I wound up being able to do at home, "for free," once I learned how to do them)

 * Stayed home today; checked my campus e-mail mid morning, saw nothing (we are technically closed on Fridays in the summer but I often do go in.) Thought of driving down to Denison to go to some of the little shops, or at least to the natural foods store, but then I remembered the road construction and went "meh" and didn't go

* Instead, I went to Pruett's for most of the grocery shopping for the week. I don't know what was going on with me; I never did develop a migraine but I had the super, super sensitive smell I often do when I'm getting ready to develop one - several people had perfume/body spray on and I really noticed it, and could smell the fish in the counter, and some of the fruit in the produce section. And there was one person who just *reeked* of cigarette smoke and I had to avoid the aisles they were in until they'd moved on because it actually made me feel a little ill. (Later, when I came out, I saw them loading up their car, smoking. So I guess they were just a real heavy smoker. And I'm glad I never got attracted by that habit)

I'm still going to run to wal-mart tomorrow; there are a few things they have that I like that Pruett's doesn't carry. (One snack I've found: tiny tubs of black olives - it's enough for me to go "that's enough olives for now" but it's still kind of a reasonable snack. And I feel like maybe that's better than some things I might choose. And yes, I know: all the packaging. But a trick I've learned, with the way my brain works: I'm a lot more likely to eat some healthful thing if it's *easy* to grab - if I have to open a can, and dish out what I want, and then find a jar to store the rest in the fridge and not forget to eat it before it goes bad - that's a lot of hurdles.

I view it as being a little bit like the people who dissed the pre-chopped vegetables and fruit until someone who was disabled pointed out that it makes it easier - and in some cases, simply POSSIBLE - for them to use those foods, because you don't need to be able to wield a knife to prepare them and you don't have to have all that extra energy (people with things like CFS or post-COVID syndrome or even on chemo) to deal with prep).

And I admit, I do kind of Chidi Anagonye myself into feeling bad about doing some tiny hacks to make my life easier - like looking at the little tubs of olives and going "but buying a big jar would be cheaper per unit, and would be less waste in the end" but then I either don't buy, or worse, buy and don't open the big jar. And in a lot of ways my "footprint" is probably smaller than many people's.

 

And sometimes, it's just NICE to have a few good ripe olives to eat. 

* I also drove back out to the little antique/mercantile/gift shop place a couple towns to the east of me. I just needed to get out. Though I admit also - driving through the empty countryside here sometimes gives me flashbacks to 2020, when in like May or some time I took to making periodic drives in the country, not going anywhere (some them may have been still during the closure of non-essential businesses) but  I needed to be somewhere that was not in my house or yard, and I also felt like I needed slightly longer drives than just to pick up groceries because I was afraid I'd forget how. (And at that point I was going for groceries only once every week or 10 days, and often - if I could get a pick up slot - picking them up from wal-mart)

And I don't know. I thought some weird things during that time, I remember wondering, as I drove down empty minor highways, surrounded on all sides by hayfields, no other human beings in sight, hadn't talked to anyone in days - "is this maybe what it's like to be dead?" and I don't know where THAT came from, but I remember it (with a bit of anxiety) when I drive out in the countryside now. 

I do think I burned out some of my ability to be quietly alone during that year. I used to scoff at people who had to walk across campus texting or talking to someone on the phone, but now I find I need that kind of background noise. So either I check social media accounts (i feel like posting somewhere doesn't *obligate* anyone the way a phone call or even a text would - I am very aware that no one owes me attention and in my bleaker moods I feel like maybe no one really wants the effort of paying attention to me) and often when I'm at home now I either have to have something innocuous on the television for "noise" (I've found that Carnival Eats program is good for that) or one of the background music channels ("lo fi hip hop streaming") on YouTube. 

(If I felt better about spending a big chunk of money I'd consider getting a satellite-enabled radio so I could listen to Sirius XM other than in my car - but then again I guess there is an app I could use. Or I use the BBC radio app.  I tried Radiogarden but find it hard to find a really *interesting* channel in a language I understand; most of the ones I find seem to be the same pop music you hear everywhere)

* I bought a jar of honey from one of the apiaries in the area, and a bar of fancy soap (Pre de Provence, in the "Herbs of Provence" sent, which is a little bit woody and vegetal and maybe *slightly* like patchouli. (Floral scents sometimes set off my allergies but most herbaceous ones are okay).

I contemplated a little pair of ceramic figures of foxes (they called them "cats" but they were clearly foxes) dressed in fox-hunting clothes, because, ironic, but I don't have any more room for tchotckes.

Though if they're still there in a month or two next time I go back, I might get them then....

They also had some insulated cups, one labeled "this girl runs on Bud Light" and that had Dylan Mulvaney's signature "nod to Audrey Hepburn's Holly Golightly" hairstyle printed on it, and I wondered if the shop owners KNEW (we are a conservative area but there is a small but vocal LGBTQ population here) and were quietly making a statement, or if they simply hadn't heard the controversy. (I would not have, had I not spent as much time online as I do and heard people discussing it. And it's no matter to me - I don't drink beer, it doesn't matter to me who Bud wants to hire as their spokesperson, but I know some people seemed very upset about it). I'm guessing the second given that it's a pretty obscure issue but you never do know. 

* We also had a water main break earlier today. Not too far from me, I saw them working on it when I drove out to Pruett's. I kept checking the city's facebook page, and tried to watch the "local" news but there was no mention of a boil order, though I have been careful (drank tea with lunch and boiled the water hard before making it, and used bottled water - I keep some on hand for times like this - to drink with dinner). It's been fixed for a few hours (they DID post that) and I decided to take a shower tonight (and use the new soap - you should go ahead and use the nice things)

Hopefully I don't regret that but I am sure they'd have posted that information? In the past when we had breaks they sometimes issued boil orders.