Things I think

 * 24 hour news channels were mostly a mistake. They chase news and feed the egos of those who have power and want attention.

* Something that might be true of me: I may have lost my ability/desire to put in the effort to make friends during the pandemic. I dealt with a lot of rejection in my past, and I had a little more during the pandemic. And now, trying to "start over" on some of the new social media sites (Mastodon and Spoutible, because Twitter's new owner is a butt) and.....I don't know. I follow people, some people followed me back, but I feel like I'm not interesting enough for Mastodon (there are, like, REAL ecologists on there, who actually do meaningful research, and REAL artists who actually make art) and I can't get a good feel for Spoutible and I think there's only one person I knew before over there. And.....trying to "break in" a new group of people and find kindred spirits to talk to, it's just hard. 

* It was hot today, and the allergens are bad, and I feel like it's Round II of what I suffered when the elms were flowering. That's probably partly why I feel like I did today.

* Also having very vivid dreams packed with stuff. I don't know if it's that I'm using my brain too much during the days - so it has a lot to discard - or if I'm not getting enough human contact so it needs to invent it (like: me staying over at the house of a person I barely now and sleeping on their sofa, or getting into an argument with a person my brain wholly invented, that kind of thing). 

* I did get the accumulated grading done. I give an exam tomorrow so I'll get MORE. (I think I'm just tired and hitting a burnout point right now)

* Though still feeling unsettled about the possibility of AI coming to the point where it takes the "fun" parts of our jobs somehow, and leaves the terrible parts. (I admit I am Full Pessimist about this, but I feel like I was TOO optimistic about COVID being over in early 2020, before we went virtual, and so I feel like I've been burned before, and maybe it's just better to assume the worst things)

* At least I get Friday off. It's Holy Week though I admit I don't *feel* it the way I do some years. Mostly just something to be gotten through? That's not a good way of thinking but yes, I am tired. 

*Also feeling a bit like a failure because I caved in and accepted my mom's offer of paying for the new tires I need. I'm **54**, I should be financially independent. I should have been more responsible in past years and not bought so much frivolous stuff.