Tuesday, January 17, 2023

Tuesday evening things

 * Just, tired. I spent nearly all day yesterday working on systematic botany lectures; today I worked more on my post-tenure review thing (including tracking down some prior evaluation paperwork I only had paper copies of and was afraid I had lost), and I went to the mart of wal and bought flowers and fruit for Thursday's lab (luckily, with the departmental credit card, because it was closer to $50 than to $20.). I also had a routine (six month checkup) doctor's appointment. (Have gained a little weight, womp womp. I guess I have to watch how I eat and try to exercise more). Got reminded again I need to go in and do the shingles vaccine sequence. Did get a referral for PT for my hip arthritis, even though right now it's better than it was - I am wondering if chilly damp weather makes it worse, or if having the new dress shoes (I got a pair of Danskos) makes it better. 

* I have two gift-projects on the needles. The one I can talk about (the other one, the recipient might read here) is just a simple "grandma's favorite" dishcloth in a red/pink/tan color combination, to send to my mom for Valentine's day. When I was out and about this weekend, I bought a few cards - not sure whether to send her one of the funny cat ones or one of the heartfelt ones but I don't have to decide that right yet. I'm about half done with the dishcloth. After I finish the gifts, I want to finish a couple of the ongoing projects and then maybe start a new sweater - I bought some on-sale (acrylic, but nice acrylic) multicolored yarn from JoAnn's a couple months back and I want to make a simple pullover out of it.I do want to dig in my stash more and try to work it down.

* Over break the main book I read was "Glass Houses," a Louise Penny mystery from a few years back (from the "Before Times" - I think it was 2017). More harrowing at the end than some of them, but I got hooked in and really wanted to see how it came out. There was a theme also of "when is it okay to subvert your own principles for a larger good" (dealing with the drug-smuggling and wanting-to-crush-the-developing-cartel storyline). It was a good story but I also find stories like that kind of sad. All too often in the world today I look around and it feels like the unprincipled people are winning - the ones out only for themselves, for what they can extract that is of value from the rest of the population and I admit some days it's hard to find the motivation to keep on keepin' on the way I always have.

Right now I'm reading The Light Fantastic (Terry Pratchett) that I had been away from long enough that I lost the thread of it (it was somewhere in the Cohen the Barbarian section) so I just restarted it, and now I'm back to where I left off. These are entertaining stories and somehow you do get the sense that things will come out right in the end. Which is something I kind of need these days, even in a fictional universe: somewhere where doing the right thing is rewarded, and perhaps where kindness is seen as worthwhile, and things somehow work out in the end. 

* I read something the other day in a "little list of life advice" sort of thing and it resonated: "Don't trust anything you think after about 8 or 9 pm"

This is me. If I'm going to get into a really low mood, it will be at the end of the day, especially after a long day of work and meetings where I felt like I had relatively little sense and engagement with other people (much more common now than in the before-times). and also I read stuff and I read things like speculation on how COVID is forever, and how other things are changing for the worse, and I get to thinking things like "well, this is it. This is the BEST the rest of my life will be" and especially if I'm tired and it's been a bad day, it makes me really sad to think that maybe there's nothing new and good to look forward to.

But yeah, I try not to trust those thoughts; I am usually better in the morning. But I do wish I felt less used-up at the end of the days.

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