more sad news

 For a few years, T., one of the men at church, had been suffering from something like dementia. It started - oh, it could have been as long ago as 2015? I just remember he had been an elder, and one elder's meeting he took me aside and said "I'm sorry but my memory is just not very good and I can't find the words any more, I will have to bow out" and I accepted his resignation. I was concerned; he was only about 20 years older than I was, not old enough for the standard age-related memory loss.

Gradually it got worse. He had to give up driving, he stopped remembering people's names (he called me "young lady" when he shook my hand - he knew he should know me but didn't remember my name). Eventually he became nonverbal, and his wife reported that she had to watch him, he was restless and might wander off. She got a helper so she could go and do things like grocery shopping (though sometimes she took him; one of the last times I saw him was running into them at the local grocery store). 

This past couple weeks, I guess he was in a long-term care facility - breathing difficulties, didn't want to eat. The report we got last night at CWF was that he was entering hospice. (Though then again: I knew a man who was in hospice for six years - slow-moving blood cancer). But of course, I remember my dad was in hospice for only two days or so - the visiting (regular) nurse sensed the end was coming and told my mom she was going to call in hospice (and they seem to have helped a lot - provided necessary medications and I think they made the necessary calls after he passed. And he got to die at home, which I think was important to him; my mom had asked him, before he got so bad (but was having breathing difficulties) if he wanted to go to the hospital and he said "no. I'm done with hospitals")

My understanding here is it was the family's wishes that no extreme measures be taken, and C. said she didn't want him going to a hospital. 

I went out and did meals on wheels, the word there was "it's a matter of days now." But it was only an hour or so later that we got the word. 

It's sad. It's just another sad thing on the enormous pile of sad that exists. In a way, it's really been sad for a long time and in a way this is a release for him and for her. But it's still sad and those kinds of brain diseases are horrific because they steal who the person is, and the body keeps going once the personality is gone. But there's just an awful lot of sad in the world right now.

There are no funeral/memorial plans at this point but I'm sure it will take a while to assemble the family. I'll go if I at all can, and serve at the lunch if I can. 

But it just is sad. My heart hurts for C., they were married 56 years. 

I'm picking away at analyzing the data but didn't have much appetite for it today - I came home a bit early and cleaned my kitchen but ran out of steam for doing any more else in the house (perhaps I try to do another room or two tomorrow; the kitchen was really the worst and the biggest job so maybe I could get my bedroom and the bathroom done tomorrow afternoon). 

I still plan to go up to Chickasaw on Friday as long as the weather holds, and just do a bunch of walking around on the trails and looking at stuff and maybe go to the Spice and Tea Exchange and also look in the park gift shop in case they have any good new national parks books.