Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Wednesday evening things

 * Classes, at least right now, seem a bit better than they did last semester. I have a few students (enough) who have strong enough personalities and are willing to talk, and that makes a difference. I'm hoping it continues. Last semester really drained me.

* That said, I have a lot of people having to isolate, at least until they get a negative covid test back, and it's a little tiresome to juggle the online and in person. I guess this is what some campuses call "HyFlex" and it's really not good - if you want to do an online course with a simultaneous in person version, you really need two people teaching the course, one to manage the online component and add in stuff like instant quizzes (to monitor that people are paying attention). It's a bit much for me right now so I pretty much just broadcast the lectures as I do them and hope people don't just turn on and tune out. I think that was a problem with several people last semester who earned poor grades.

I will say I think a lot of the students I have this semester are sick of online and so they do come, unless they're sick, or their kid's out of school, or they have to isolate.

* I started a new small project the other night - I had had for years a hat pattern in my files called "Krummholz" (which is the German word for the treeline on a mountain; it literally means "crooked wood" (it's also sometimes called Knieholz, meaning knee-high trees). It's a large-scale lace pattern that looks a bit like leaves. It's knit in worsted-weight, which is a nice change after working in finer yarns recently. I'm using a Paton's Classic Wool for it and it is a pleasant yarn to work with. I think as I clear stuff up and move stuff out, I am finding things I want to make - I also dug out some other fabrics (a Jelly Roll of vaguely 1970s-inspired florals and a white one, and I have a very simple rail-fence like quilt pattern I want to make of it). 

* I'm trying to get back to cooking a bit more now that my sink is fixed and it's easier to wash dishes. I made meatloaf the other night from the good, simple recipe I had. It's better for me to have "proper" food (some kind of a main dish, and, if the main dish isn't heavy on vegetables, a couple servings of vegetables as well.) I think I feel better when I'm better nourished; I don't know if it's simply better food, or if it's that I feel vaguely guilty when I am "grazing" and eating convenience foods instead of cooking "proper" food. Part of the problem is I think my brain has just been so co-opted by both worries about the pandemic and about trying to teach in it, and I get home and am like "food? what's food?" and by the time I realize I have to eat, there's no time for anything much. Or also, with seldom leaving town - well, there really isn't all that much choice, and while Pruett's meat is good and they have decent produce, it's extremely variable WHAT is available any given week. I do wish we had a larger fancier grocery store in town, and also I didn't feel constrained when I could shop (right now: I mostly grocery shop early Saturday morning, which is not optimal for reasons of shelf-stocking, but it means fewer people are out and so the store is less crowded). 

Someone was talking on Twitter about how Central Market was better than Whole Foods and my response was "LOL I have never been inside either one" (nor have I been to a Trader Joe's) and I sometimes think it would be fun once in a while to be able to go to a more upscaley grocery, but the closest I will get to that is Brookshire's, and even that is 40 minutes away.

* I think one thing I've realized in the pandemic is just how small my town is compared to other places I've lived. I don't know if that's necessarily bad enough that I consider moving after retirement, but....not being able to get out has been harder. I get restless and that's probably part of living alone in a small house and not having anyone to talk to regularly when I'm not at work.

* I need to start thinking (for no other reason than to have something to look forward to) what to do for my birthday. It's on a Sunday this year (so most things here are closed) and also the minister asked me if I could fill the pulpit that day because he is taking a vacation/training day. I don't know. I don't WANT to but also I realize there are few other people who could do it. I suppose I need to look at the lectionary and see if there's anything that inspires me. But I do want to do something special and fun, something I haven't done (or haven't done recently) even if I have to do that the NEXT weekend. I will still have to think. 

It's hard here; most of the "good stuff" is in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, and I so, so, so do not do that traffic. I also admit I have some residual feeling (weirdly) of shame over doing my birthday alone - an echo of the junior high/high school/college folks who felt like if you werp. en't with a big group on your birthday, you were a loser and were socially unacceptable. And while I intellectually know that's not true, emotionally it's hard not to, too many years of being told I was a loser by my peers when I was growing up.

But yeah, part of it is, lack of ideas as to what to do. It's likely too cold for going to the park, and I realize I need to really curtail book/yarn/fabric buying, and I'm not doing restaurants or movie theaters right now (and may never again, sigh), and I'm kind of out of ideas. (there aren't really museums in the area).

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