Thursday, September 16, 2021

Thursday evening things

 * Yesterday was just long (three lectures, one lab, added feature of a Zoom conference about the plans to change to a different LMS, then a call from my mom in the evening - the usual Wednesday night one, which even goes back to the REAL before-times, before the pandemic, even when my dad was still with us and he'd be on one extension and she'd be on the other)

* I've added a few more rows to the Incunabula sweater. I'm trying to be semi-monogamous on this because I would like to finish it before the winter is TOTALLY over so I could wear it at least once, and it is a pleasant project to work on - enough variation to not be boring, but also not HARD. 

* I'm slowly starting to be able to get more done during a day. I'm not back to the level of productivity I had in the before-times, but I think I'm getting better at motivating myself to work. 

* I'm almost done with Gaudy Night. Barring a twist, I know who did it, and while it makes sense, I guess.....I was expecting something more spectacular, like one particular character being the guilty party. I also started "The Miracle Cures of Dr. Aira" which I guess someone recommended to me? It's not the sort of book I usually read - I guess it's magical realism? (I am not very far into it yet). I admit I'm a bit baffled/ suspicious that the main character has the same name as the author; I don't know if it's some kind of odd self-insert fantasy or if the actual author used the character's name as a pen name. I'm trying to withhold judgment but I might not finish this one. It's also a translation and between that and the magical realism, I find it a bit more opaque, which isn't so good when my concentration is still a bit shattered.

*Today was a bit more than I expected; at the last minute I found out I had to work a recruitment event because the person who WAS going to do it is filling in for my colleague who is out of town because their mom died....and I was the only other person free. So I gave up my morning office hours and then had to race back to my building for class (I did post a note on the webpage warning people I'd be late, and I had REALLY poor attendance so I don't know if people assumed I'd not get back, or what). 

I think I talked to four people, out of the 150 or so high school students that trooped through. A number of other universities in our state and adjacent states had tables, too - they were down on the arena floor, the departments of my university were relegated to a dim mezzanine area and I tried REALLY hard not to take that as an indicator of how important/valuable we were seen as, but it was hard. 

Also, of the maybe 200 people there, about six or seven of the faculty were masked (all from science departments - people from the other sciences at my school, and a couple people I knew from a sister school who were in the sciences. And maybe about five of the students, so.....I don't even know. Yes, I'm sick of wearing a mask. Yes, I know it doesn't protect me as well as it protects others from me if I'm infectious (and isn't that a cursed thing? You have to depend on others, but you can't?)

So it felt like a waste and I walked out of there kind of discouraged. 

I also saw friend-groups from the schools interacting - one group of girls where one walked over and playfully hip-checked another, and I felt a pang - I remember having a group of friends! I will probably never have that again, at least not in the sense that high schoolers and college students have it. 

I don't know. I guess I do miss those kind of interactions. Right now most of my interpersonal interactions are in some way work related - stuff at church, or the short conversations with colleagues. There's really nothing just....fun. 

* the coming weeks will be even more busy. If I want to do fall sampling - and I probably SHOULD, if I am going to do this study I want to do - I'm gonna have to get out and do it, and two Saturdays at church are at least partly taken up by volunteer efforts. So I'm playing Tetris in my mind with the times....if I eat lunch quickly on Tuesday and Thursday and run out to the field site and get there by 2, could I get a transect or two in before it starts to get dark? Could I go out after church on Sunday if I can't do Saturday? (So there may be a period with even less posting than what I have been doing - because I'm just busy getting that done). 

I mean, if I get it done, it will eventually pay off, because I'll have another paper, it's just, getting there is hard. 

(I may have to consider going back to the order-online-pick-up groceries for a bit, since the early-morning weekend times would be better spent doing fieldwork, and I'm not loving going late in the day when it's crowded). 

* sometimes it just feels like too much for one person but I don't know what I could cut out.

* Maybe I promise myself at the end of October, when I have this all done, that I take a Saturday and go back to the yarn shop in Whitesboro. I could mask up, it would be fine.

* Not going out this weekend, though - too hot and still a little early compared to when we collected the data in 2018. Also, I need to get a flu shot and it feels like tomorrow might be the ideal time to do that. That way, if I don't feel very good on Saturday morning (flu shots normally do not bother me, but you never know) I have the day to relax a bit. 

* I was thinking driving home how although I DO appreciate having a full week at Thanksgiving because it makes traveling so much easier, I miss losing those mid-fall break days. This year, I could have used them to do the sampling. I also remember the years when I made the long drive to Longview, first to go shopping by myself, and then later on trying to arrange a meet-up with a friend. It does make a long slog without a real break in the fall, because Thanksgiving is near the end of the semester (in the spring, Spring Break is about midway through).

No comments: