Wheels coming off

 I now have eight (of twenty) students in my intro class who are having to isolate.

EIGHT

EIGHT STUDENTS

I am doing class over Zoom today. I may do class solely over Zoom from now on. I do not want to get a "breakthrough" infection or be told I must isolate for 10 days.

I hate everything and everyone right now.

(UPDATE: apparently the "do not admit this student if they show up to class" was merely a secondary contact of someone and is not themselves infected, so the people around them most likely will not need to isolate. But I am still doing class 100% over Zoom today 'cos I can't go back on that now)

 ETA: also I found out that I do NOT need to get COVID tested unless I am showing symptoms; if I am asymptomatic and get a positive test I don't need to isolate, just mask and distance, which I already do. So I'm gonna skip it. The nurse called me about something else and I asked her and she said "oh we just offer it in case people are anxious" but that would only happen if I had symptoms. I think I'm safe - though if I got symptoms it would be Saturday they'd show up (if it's Delta variant, which I bet it is)

Zoom class went okay, and some of the students even put their cameras on, which makes it a little easier because I can see other people.I'm considering just offering it as a choice given how much the virus seems to be spreading in that class  - it's mostly first-years who are new to campus AND ALSO unlike our majors they are not "cloistered" with the same smallish group of people. And a lot of them live in the dorms. I don't love that, and I said I'd still do in person exams, but....maybe I can help slow the spread that way.

I don't like the added moral calculus in all these things, and having to go "okay do I do something I like a lot less but that benefits other people, do my own feelings not matter here?" because for me the answer is usually "yes" and....yeah, it wears me out.

So much of this feels like a bad rerun of 2020.I am exceptionally tired  - not physically or mentally tired but tired IN MY SOUL and I don't know how I fix that.