The interment of ashes (at which I am supposed to "say some words" and "read some Scripture" is Friday at 3 pm. The daughter of the person finally got in touch with me - her aunt, which had been the contact person, is involved with a hospitalized husband (this is a recurring issue he has).
I'm apprehensive, but at least I know that now. I've been contemplating Scripture, maybe that bit from John 11, maybe the "a time to every season" lines from Ecclesiastes. I am considering asking if anyone wants to say anything about her though I know that can also be fraught (I have been at funerals where a friend or relative stumbles up to the podium and proceeds to tell a story that is very long, inappropriate to the occasion, or so punctuated by weeping you can't hear it.) I admit also I was glad I was not asked to "share a story" at my dad's memorial service - oh, I could have found something short and appropriate, but I probably would have had a breaky voice and found it uncomfortable.
I'll be glad when this is done.
And I kind of laughed a little bitterly - I remembered that cat (back in March) that died on my driveway (I am sure it was feral/a stray - no one was asking after it and it had no collar on, and I wasn't going to feel of it to see if I could feel a microchip, or take it in to a vet) that I buried. And I "said a few words" over that cat and in a weird way, maybe that was preparation?
I also joked that knowing what to do to "run" a funeral of sorts is probably an important Zombie Apocalypse type skill that no one thinks of - everyone is either all about the weaponry, or about being able to make things from scratch, or Frankenstein together a couple broken cars to make a working vehicle - but in a TEOTWAWKI situation, there will be dead to bury, and I tend to feel if we're not to totally lose our humanity, there needs to be some words, appropriate to the person and their beliefs, said. (I know the Christian order of things; I could probably also do something more "universalist" or "humanist" if I had to)
But also: my life has gotten way weirder and more unexpected, and NOT in a fun way, in the past couple years. I am ready for some fun surprises, not effortful or bad ones.
1 comment:
Vaguely related: I was supposed to swim a particular stroke in a pool (10th grade?) and I just never could. I could get a bunch of air and do the crawl, but not what was required. I tried, and I almost drowned. They literally gave me a long hook to pull myself out. STILL can't swim that right way, but because I can still hold my breath OK, I can get to the side of a pool if I fell in.
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