I talked to my mom tonight. She had quite a time yesterday. I'm going to try to anonymize this as much as I can but....well, I can use initials and I don't think any of you who read here know my family.
Anyway, the youngest daughter of my mom's oldest sister (oldest sister is dead - my mom is the only one of her siblings left), S., gets some support from my mom. S. has some disabilities and mostly doesn't work - I *think* she has something similar to schizophrenia, if I remember correctly.
Well, my mom realized upon rectifying her checkbook, S. had not cashed checks for a couple months. So my mom worried.
One of S.'s issues is that she does not pick up the phone. She is very suspicious of other people, so she doesn't let people in the house or answer the phone (except, as it turns out, for N., the daughter of another cousin of mine).
Anyway, my mom got worried. So she called B., the widow of my cousin who died of COVID earlier this year. B. said she'd check but reminded my mom of S.'s issues. B. drove by the house, said the lawn was unmown, and it looked like a box or two (from delivery) were on the porch. Which understandably worried my mom. So she called both the most-local police to the area and the county sheriff, to see if someone would do a "welfare check" on S. Turns out because by then it was late in the day on Saturday, apparently the desks were unmanned (?!?! I guess it's even more rural than where I am, because I called the non-emergency number here that night the guy was pounding on my door, I got someone right away)
So my mom said she didn't know what to do. (S. is in rural northern Michigan, at least 500 miles from my mom).
Finally, B. called C., who was N.'s mother, to ask her. C. said that N. was in contact with S., and she'd send her over.
The upshot: S. is (mostly) okay, she just hadn't picked up her mail (she uses a PO box) in over a month. But my mom's unsure what to do - keep sending the checks? Or does this suggest S. doesn't really need them? Then again, I think all S. has is SSI to live on....
But this kind of thing sets off a lot of issues for me because I worry about becoming isolated and getting hurt or sick and not having anyone to help, and I've even done stuff like told people I know reasonably well via social media "here are my mom's phone number, and my secretary's, if I don't text you back in x hours, please call them because there's a chance I'm not OK" (I did this most recently when I thought I might have contracted COVID).
The other thing is - I have a few relatives like this (mostly cousins) who have just kind of estranged themselves from the rest of the family. I can't really see any reason, any big rupture (though I might not have seen it?) but there are people I am related to that I never see and probably never will see again and it makes me sad - effectively my family is a lot smaller than it is.
And I was thinking earlier - before my mom even called - how between early 2018 and now I have lost about 15 people, ranging from very close relatives (my father, one of my favorite cousins) to friends to friendly acquaintances. And I don't know that many people! So if I lose many more, well, I'll be even more alone. (And meeting people is hard. Last year definitely didn't help. And again: I feel like I live in a more closed society than some parts of the country might be)
But yeah, already feeling a bit melancholy, and also anxious (dental checkup tomorrow and I always hate those), this doesn't help, even though it ultimately ended, if not exactly HAPPILY, not as badly as it might have.
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