making new friends

 Well, SORT OF.

First up is a pleasing small Etsy purchase that came recently. People with 3-D printers are making things and selling them through Etsy. Apparently some of the things are from open-sourced files; you see several shops with the same design (and I saw the "articulated cat" like the one my brother made for my mom to show off the capability of his printer).

This is an octopus, though. With little articulated legs

it's pleasing to play with, the legs are actually pretty firmly on there and it's pretty solid (I have another item that I had to glue part of, because some of the joints were kind of thin and one snapped, but this is a good sturdy octopus).

I find these kind of little fidget toys are more necessary now, just as having a stuffed animal to squash against my chest when I sleep (forcing myself to sleep on my side so as not to mess up my back) than it was before the pandemic; it's done something to my brain or my emotions and I don't sit still as well and also need "comfort items" more. 

The seller offered these in a variety of colors (I presume they print them on demand, I think that's how most of those shops operate). I thought a bit about colors, and opted for this one....because it's glow-in-the-dark:

I also started a new stuffed toy tonight, in the hopes of maybe getting my knitting mojo back a bit. This one is a manatee, pattern purchased from Yarnigans. I'm using a different yarn than recommended (they suggest a worsted-weight wool; I'm using a bulky chenille with upsizing the needles to work with the fatter yarn)

the body is not quite 1/3 done, I think that's the snout part. I would like to use lockwasher eyes if I have a pair that work, sizewise. If not, I'll just make little felt eyes out of black felt.

I also have an octopus pattern from the same site; for this one I have a plain light-pink worsted so I can use the recommended needle and eye-size for that. 

Chenille isn't always the greatest yarn to knit with - I would not want a sweater of it - and I don't know how this one will hold up, but hopefully it will stay nice because the manatee is pettable with the soft yarn. 

****

And as I was gearing up to write this, a surprise, but not really the kind I would hope for.

Back in fall 2019, someone who had belonged to the same church and AAUW group as I did (L.) had moved to South Carolina to live with her daughter (L. was in the very early stages of some kind of degenerative disease, IIRC). Anyway, while there, shortly after moving there, L. was killed in a car wreck.

My church's CWF group offered to do a memorial service/reception, the person who was the minister at the time would have been willing, I guess. But the next-of-kin (the daughter) said no, she didn't want that, she was doing nothing.

So I put it out of my mind, because it was during a time of many other losses. And then, of course, coronavirus happened.

Well, this evening, R., who was the cousin of L., and who I know from church (but because of health issues has not been attending regularly) called me up.

Turns out, L.'s daughter now wants to inter her ashes alongside L.'s mother, IF the city (who owns the cemetery) will give permission. They don't want a full funeral, just someone to read scripture and "say a few words." Would I do it?

(Commence internal screaming)

I mean, okay, I get it: I knew L. perhaps as well as anyone who's still around here, and as an elder it's kind of my role, I guess. Our current minister never met her - the man who was minister when she died has moved on to another church, Dell (who was the interim and would have known her) is dead, so....I'm kind of the one left.

I told R. that I'd have to check my schedule, which was a white lie - if it happens the day she said the daughter was planning it, I'd still be in town, and I don't have anything scheduled that day. But I needed a minute. 

I mean, I get that I would be the logical one and I probably wouldn't be terrible at it but I really, really do not feel equal to it. I also feel weird that they didn't even consider asking the new minister even though he didn't know her and I don't even know if it would be any kind of a protocol breach for me to talk to him about it  (like: were they intentionally keeping him out of the loop for some reason I absolutely have not twigged to, because I am me?) Or are they just doing it because they want someone who knew her, and I'm literally the only person available who could? 

Of course, it may also happen the daughter can't get permission, or there's some delay and it won't happen until I've left town to visit my mom but...yikes. 

I don't even know what Scripture would be best. I know the 23rd Psalm is pretty traditional for things like this and I can say that practically in my sleep but also it seems like....well, it's the "typical" choice, so.

I might just ask the minister tomorrow if I can catch him at the office and see (a) what he suggests and (b) if it's not too unbelievably wrong a breach of protocol to have an unordained person preside over something like this.

(I assume it isn't; my Aunt Deb read scripture at my dad's interment because it was up near where her family lives - it was where my grandparents were buried.)

But I am ready for weird, difficult, and sad things to stop. This is not an experience I really wanted, though at the same time I feel like I should not say no.

But, like: yikes. I don't know if this is a "family only" thing (so: I would not be welcome to alert the AAUW group or CWF of it in case anyone wants to show up) and I don't know what a person WEARS for this sort of thing. (This is where being officially ordained would be helpful: a robe and....stole,I guess it's called (I guess chasubles are for Catholic and Anglican priests) would be the thing to wear)

the old saying, attributed to Mother Teresa (but I doubt she ever actually said it) that "God won't give me more than I can handle; I just wish He didn't trust me so much"