Extremely on brand

 Yeah, this is me:

I got invited to participate in an educational-research survey project about using writing assignments for student retention. I would have probably done it anyway, but they also offered a $35 gift certificate (with more to come if I do future parts of the survey in later months) in return.

So I did it. I picked an Amazon card - many of the other choices were restaurants (either not in my area, or not the type of food I'd be eating) or Air BnB (Uhhh...are you kidding me? In this pandemic?)

But then (on-brand thing #1) I wondered, since they hinted you could - should I donate the card instead of using it? Or do something like buy a bunch of school supplies for some underfunded district?

Well, I decided, no: this was a windfall. (And also, now I remember - I sent a sizable donation through Mercy Corps for relief in Beirut after the explosion happened. And yeah, yet another case where I decide to do something "helpful" and then I turn around and later on see a "reward" that is unrelated practically speaking, but maybe not cosmically speaking)

And then I thought - should I just hang on to it, should I buy a book from the list of "someday books" or buy something totally frivolous?

And you can guess on-brand thing #2.

there is now a stuffed Jellycat brand dragon on his way to me.

I will say this was a toy I'd looked at over several months and contemplated, but the price was high enough (it is a LARGE toy dragon) that I held off buying it. But now - well, the price would be knocked down to something manageable (And yes, I know: Apogee is also on her way to me. I dont' care, this coming week is going to be kind of stressful and it will *help* to have packages of fun things to look forward to). And yeah, as an adult I am getting to indulge my inner child excessively much by buying ALL THE STUFFED ANIMALS that I maybe didn't get as an actual child. But it's a simple thing that makes me happy.

In other news:

* I have prickly heat, apparently. Itchy bumpy rash on my torso that seems to be sweat-gland related. I stopped off at Walgreen's on the way home for lunch (all but one dude in there were masked) and got calamine lotion, which is the recommended symptomatic treatment for it and seems to be pretty benign (What IS calamine, anyway, some kind of plant?....okay, it's ferric oxide (that must be why it's pink) and zinc oxide and I guess it dries stuff out. So anyway: it is pretty benign, And having it on hand is good in case you get into poison ivy, though I'm not going out into the world as much right now - too hot - I might try doing some walking-in-nature again if it cools down some time soon)

* I also bought a bag of Black Forest brand "berry" gummies (berry shaped, flavored with berry juice). Yes, I should not be eating too much candy but Black Forest is my favorite brand of jelly type candy. And these are outstanding - I don't know if they're new or not but they are delicious, they do taste like the berries they represent (blackberry, strawberry, raspberry) and they are not overly sweet (I do not like things that are excessively sweet). Once in a while I just need a little piece of tart fruity candy like these.

The Black Forest "exotic flavor" (things like blueberry-acai) gummi bears are also excellent. The regular gummi bears are good, too, but of their products I think the berries are best, followed by the exotic fruit bears, followed by the regular bears. (I have not tried the worms or forest creatures - there is a mango flavor in the forest creature and I dislike/am slightly allergic to mango, so I might just avoid those)

* Set up the Zoom codes for my classes today, and got a nice thank you from a student (in e-mail). Turns out the student is a caretaker for an elderly relative and they were worried about whether they'd be able to continue classes because they didn't want to risk COVID exposure, and since all my classes (including the face to face ones, except for ecology lab, and this person already took ecology) are possible to do synchronously online....well, they can do it now. So I guess I am doing the right thing here even if it means a bit more effort on my part. I will just have to remember to carry the camera around and activate Zoom before I start teaching each day. (Again, I think I need to print out a little card and figure out some way to "laminate" it so it's permanent so I can mentally check off what I  need)

There's going to be a lot of cognitive load in re: remembering stuff this semester, but if it helps some of the students who either have childcare issues (I have someone who's raised that question already too) or health/family issues, it will be worth it. 

* Need to get back over to work and do more. Am hoping tonight I will have the energy to work more on the blanket; I would very much like to get this done and have told myself if I do, I can start either Cooper or the Incunabula cardigan then. Even though I have two sweaters going (and one kind of in permastall - the owls vest). But maybe having a new project for the new school year will be good. I will be doing office hours from home much of the time (afternoon hours every day but Wednesday and maybe Friday - I will have to also make a card with my schedule) and maybe I can sit and knit while I wait for students to "show up" - or I could read. (Working on stuff on the computer is harder because I don't know if there's a chime or something when someone enters the waiting room so I need to at least nominally be able to see the screen)

Added, about 5:30 pm: I think I am starting to feel more like "myself" again. I think part of it is being able to prep for fall classes which, well, it's going to be unsettling to teach in a mask, and  a bit anxiety-producing to have to remember to have all the hardware and software working together so I can "broadcast" (though I did have the option to set "always record to the cloud" for my classes, and I chose that, so they should automatically record to the cloud so I can post them later in the day - I told people I expected them to "tune in"* for the all-online class, or to "tune in" if they aren't present for the in-person class - and the person I e-mailed back and forth with about her concerns about not exposing her elderly relative - she said she absolutely would, and would also "chat" if the volume was bad or something - but that I'd record the  class in case of technical difficulties on their end, or if their child has to do in-person schoolwork and the internet connection slows down). I think also the bit of positive feedback (the thanks from the student) helped enormously; having tangible evidence that my efforts help is important to me. 

 (*It's funny, isn't it, how we use the technological vocabulary of our youth? I still say "dial" for calling on the phone, even if I'm poking - not even buttons, just places on a sensitive screen - my cell phone. And "tune in" like it was on a tv, and for that matter, tv in the era before streaming, when you really did have to tune in at a particular time (and with an analog tuner)

Also just being able to TEACH again, and I'm doing the in-person stuff a little against my better judgment (but maybe it really will be okay) because I need a little contact with other people. When I was extremely alone during the initial lockdown, and then during the summer (because I didn't need to be in on campus) when I was home, that was bad for me. I didn't realize it at the time, because it felt so safe and comfortable to just stay home every day, but it was bad for me mentally - there were weeks where literally the only person I talked to for longer than a few seconds was my mom on the phone (the only other interaction, maybe, being with the checker at the Pruett's)

I guess even though I am an introvert, I'm one who needs people...