Thursday afternoon things

Roger, you are probably correct. This year has been a lot and I don't know how much of what I'm dealing with is just....outside me, and everyone has to deal with it, and how much is internal, and if eventually I will need chemical help to deal with the internal. I'm going to wait until it's a little safer out and then think about it. I know in part my mental state isn't helped by being alone and more or less cut off from my various communities (colleagues, church, AAUW). A few colleagues will be back once classes start though it sounds as if several are - for health reasons - teaching entirely online and I had an e-mail conversation with one of them where he suggested I could still take my smaller classes all online if I am concerned.

I don't know. At this point I feel like maybe balancing mental health (being able to see people in person which is more important to me than I realized before this) vs. the fairly small risk of infection (my doctor tells me "if you behave as if YOU are infective, the things you do will protect you" and she also seems to think masking is super valuable, and anyway - everyone will be masked in class, and apparently if 95% of people in a community mask up, it really shuts down spread).

Of course, who even knows what will happen in re: classes? We may wind up all online, or we may get in a couple weeks before having to abandon campus. Or it may weirdly somehow turn out fine, if everyone masks and everyone is really careful.

I think the upsetting thing for me is the uncertainty. I hate uncertainty and it plays badly with whatever "neuroatypical" issues I may have.

Anyway. Some better things:

* Knee is essentially totally better. I can bend it normally, I can lift the foot up to put on pants okay (this was an issue a few days back, and yes, I mean "pants" in the UK sense because I have mostly been wearing dresses). I can get up and walk around without it threatening to buckle on me.

I am giving it one more rest day, and then early Saturday morning, I am going to go and try mowing the lawn, even if I have to set the lawnmower blades high at first and do a second pass because the grass has gotten tall.

* My desk chair - ordered over the weekend from Wayfair when I was desperate about some relief for my knee, and realized the crummy old folding chair I had been using was probably too low for me. (And my doctor confirmed: sitting with your knees higher than your hips is ergonomically not good).

So I ordered one - it's rather plain but that's okay, it works. I got one of the "high test" chairs (holds up to 300 lbs) because I am a bit on the heavy side for a woman (over 150 lbs) and I tend to be hard on chairs because I don't always sit demurely on them and I tend to fidget.

It was delivered by Fed Ex (womp womp) and the box was a little crushed

And when I opened it up - pieces parts and a page of pictogram instructions, and this slightly ominous card

(Though on the inside, it was a thank-you from the two people who run the chair company - they say they were "immigrant students" - to the US, I guess, based on their names - and also had contact info in case anything was damaged).

The instructions were surprisingly straightforward and the chair went together fast enough.

And it's an improvement - takes up less space and is more biodynamic for me:

It's adjustable and I have it on the tallest setting and that is so much better. I am not unusually tall but people tell me I have a proportionally long inseam so that may be why low chairs bug me.

it also has better back support. So now I can go back to sitting at my desk to knit or sew in the evenings and watch Amazon Prime.

A couple other packages arrived. The third group of Smurfs (this was a package that almost didn't make it, the seller e-mailed me to say "apparently the label got torn off in transit and they had to open it and check the invoice and send it back to me" but everything came in good shape and nothing was missing.

So:

Papa Smurf as a sea captain

When I was a kid, I wanted either the more "generic" Smurfs who could play a variety of roles, but as an adult I like the "gesture" of the more specialized ones. You can even see his coat blowing back, like in a gale:

The other one - I had forgotten which one it was - is in a little suit and I'm wondering if he's supposed to be another Alpine or German-folk-costume Smurf (I cannot find a good ID site for these - there is one for the My Little Ponies but I suspect so many Smurfs were made, and by so many companies, that there's no database out there).

But anyway, I'm going to assume he's another Tyrolean type Smurf

And so, I have a little Smurf Oktoberfest going on, which kind of pleases me. (I also have the trumpeter, but I could also use an accordion player and a tuba player if I want an oom-pah band)

I also ordered a jointed Grumpy Bear from the same site - he was inexpensive enough. Grumpy Bear was always my favorite; some of the other Care Bears were a little too saccharine-sweet

And finally - a wee tiny felt Yona the Yak from an Etsy maker named Allegrenix. So cute, very glad I bought her now.

And yeah, I've bought a lot of silly little stuff recently. I think that's another symptom; I tend to shop when I'm blue. And I haven't been knitting or embroidering or crocheting as much, though maybe this weekend I try to get back to that. I need that kind of thing to distance myself from the worries I have about the start of the new semester. (I keep telling myself I have the groundwork laid, and any tweaks I need to do, I can do the week or so before classes. I cannot imagine they would make us herd into a room and sit through "symposia" this year - though I could see some kind of online thing)

Also, if I ever get up to my mom's again, I think I am taking my little Smurf (and Gnome, I have a few of the "fakie Smurfs") collection from my childhood back with me. I had maybe a dozen, maybe a dozen and a half?

(And yes. I give myself permission to continue to buy these, just like the ponies, occasionally - they do not cost a lot of money and they make me happy. I do need to get a small display shelf for them though)