new post tomorrow

I thought I'd get both the hats finished, but didn't.

I'm just mad and sad and frustrated looking at the news; there's not enough testing available to keep people safe in the Grand Reopening being talked about.

I feel like I sat at home for four months, and raged at the walls, and probably lost some cognitive ability, and probably lost some of my ability to interact properly with fellow humans, for NOTHING and it will be at least six more of this, but with the added stress of going out daily to teach while hypervigilant.

My diastolic blood pressure has crept up about 7-10 points above where it was a month ago and I don't know if it's the ungodly heat and humidity (I first noticed it on our really terribly hot day), or the fact that I'm regularly sad and angry about things not getting ANY better out there, or if the meds I take are just starting to fail me and I'll have to either jack the dosage even more, or try another one.

So it was not a great day today, despite getting in 50 minutes of sort-of piano practice (I don't play as well as I once did, which makes me worry I am suffering cognitive decline) and watching a re-run of Murder, She Wrote, and knitting some.

Tomorrow I have to go in and do a little work on campus, and also try to get in touch with someone if the phone and internet in my office up there still aren't working. (They weren't the day I brought the soil in).

I'm just sad and tired and lonesome and kind of angry and really, really apprehensive about the coming fall

Not a lot of hope for anything here. Not sure how many more months I can hang on for while nothing improves.