Still no wisdom

That's what I've been saying. I've been keeping (relatively) quiet and just hoping to have some kind of insight that would help me understand the world right now or know what to do.

Not getting anything.

I guess I'd make a poor Quaker as well as a poor contemplative or ascetic; I'd be the one sitting in the corner of the Meeting Hall who never speaks, because apparently I am not being given the Inner Light.

Ah well.

I've been reading my way through "Chances Are" (I am almost done, and did find a few connections I can use in teaching). Next I think it will be something different - either that history-of-ecology book I mentioned, or one of the several natural-history ones I pulled and stacked up with a plan to read.

It's hard when you are used to going and doing to stay and be fairly quiet. I don't particularly have a strong desire to go out to shop or to museums or some such, though I am still a little lonely, and looking forward and hoping there is some useful treatment that's found (I think a vaccine is still a good ways off, and a good treatment or a good preventative at this point is our best hope - I see some reports of people asking if it isn't more a virus that attacks the vascular system and causes blood clots rather than merely a respiratory virus - and hopefully that means the doctors will figure out some treatment that's more effective)

Other than that, kind of heartbroken at humanity, or at least some members of it, and more and more thinking that power is generally bad because it makes those in power want more power.

I've mostly been reading rather than knitting; I might rectify that a bit in a few minutes - the only thing I can think of that I want to consume tonight is old re-runs of "Murder, She Wrote," and I read somewhere else that "anxious people tend to like rewatching movies or shows they have experienced before, or re-reading books, because there is no chance of a bad surprise" and while I tend not to be a big re-reader (because there are so many books I want to read, and so little time), I do admit I will endlessly re-watch familiar things - most evenings now my day ends with me watching a re-run of Bob's Burgers, and I've seen every one of them at least five times each, but....except for a few I dislike (the "Equestronauts" one is one), I can happily rewatch them and laugh over the same dumb jokes again. (At least with the early seasons of "Murder, She Wrote," I only vaguely remember the plot, and even if they are a little ridiculous, there is the fun of seeing some of the guest stars and the pleasant familiarity of the mystery genre, where you can trust by the end the wrongs will be righted and things will return as much to normal as they can - in fact, in murder mystery books and tv shows, they return far more to normal than they would in real life; you don't see people really mourning the deceased (or mourning the relationship they had to the murderer) or the sense of shattered peace that comes - and I know one or two people who had a relative murdered, and it is very much a shattering thing - having a relative commit suicide is shattering too, though I suspect in a different way (that is an experience I HAVE had).