Sunday night time

In a few minutes, I should brush my teeth and braid my hair and do all the various little tasks needed to prepare for bed. I think I am going to force myself back into a more-typical schedule: in bed by 10, up by 5, do the workout first thing, then eat, dress, do Duolingo and piano practice...and then go to work.

Well not, *go* *to* work, but work here in my house - I want to record another chapter's worth of lectures and should perhaps write a couple more short tests, and I need to finish up this week's advanced biostats stuff. And maybe once that's done, if I still have time and energy left, do a little reading for work.

But hopefully, maybe, for now? I've adapted. I feel less the panic of "I am trapped in my house" and more a sense of "thank goodness I can stay home and be safe here" because yes, I am actually safe here. And I have enough food, and I have an apparent option (via a delivery service called Imperfect Foods, which I am amazed to learn delivers in my area) to get fresh fruits and vegetables and meat and maybe even milk - though since it's a "fighting food waste" service, it will come down to what is available as what I get. But if it works? And if I'm willing to be flexible? It might well mean I don't have to go out at all, or I can just quick nip down to Green Spray once a week for the few fresh-food items they don't offer.

Because yeah, I expect this to get worse before it gets better.

Anyway, I think for now I've adapted to staying at home. It takes me a few days to weeks to acclimate to any big change in my schedule, but once I do I'm more okay. I think I'm going to be okay now.

I even did some knitting today, pulled out a hat that I hadn't worked on for a long time and added an inch or so to it. This is a sockyarn hat and I may just hang on to it for next winter and donate it somewhere (or at least hang on to it until it's safe to go out and just randomly mail things).

I also hooked up my ballwinder on what I am calling my "quarantine desk" (really: a small bookcase where the textbooks and support books I use are stored, and where I have my pencils and stuff) and wound off some of the yarn I've bought recently - some for a pair of armwarmers, some for socks, some for a cowl. I want to finish something first, but it will be nice to be ready to start something when I want to start something new.

But for now - shifting to a more normal bedtime, and probably reading a diverting book before I go to sleep (I have LOTS of books) and making a bit more time for knitting, and spending less time searching the news sites for news....because this is just going to be the long-game, and what I need to focus on is teaching and keeping myself content. Eventually it will be clear that it's safer to go out, and eventually (hopefully sooner rather than later) there will be a vaccine, and then it will be truly safe. (I am not trying to think "And I hope something is left" because that's the thing that makes me spiral, worrying about what kind of world we'll walk out into).

My mom has been calling more frequently. I don't know for sure if it's because she thinks I need it or if she really needs it. But either way, it's fine. We find stuff to talk about every 2-3 days (we used to talk weekly). She is staying home a lot too; fortunately she has a chest freezer full of stuff she is working down on, and a lot of shelf-stable things.

Oh, I still miss church and I miss my colleagues and students, but I feel a lot more okay about Monday coming this week than I did last week.

Also, ironically today I realized I am eating more healthfully than I did before - more time to cook, and also very cognizant of "one way you can stay healthy is to get those vitamins in" and while fresh produce is a tiny bit of an issue, I do have a bag of clementines and part of a box of (early season, so sadly not too good) strawberries, and various canned and frozen things. (And if Imperfect Foods turns out to be a good source? Maybe I have potatoes and apples and other things by the end of the week). And I don't snack, partly because I don't have a lot of snacky things on hand, but also because....oddly my work-related stress is lower. Also, hilariously (?) my blood pressure readings have been lower.

Yes. this could be me:

It may be just fewer human interactions? I don't know, it's weird to me to: I'm living in the middle of a bizarre, freaky event that alternately seems like I am having a bad dream, or it's the literal end of the world, or "this....this isn't really happening, is it?" and dealing with the issues about groceries and cleanliness and teaching online and kind of shutting my worry about future employment in a mental closet and locking the door.....and yet my cardiovascular system (or parasympathetic system, I don't know which) seems not to be on as high alert as normal? I don't know either but it's weird.