* First case showed up in my county. Someone who is not very sick and is quarantining at home but I worry about how many people might be sick and asymptomatic just yet. I'm expecting in the next 2 weeks the count will rise steadily and I am planning on not letting myself get worried about that. But I am clamping down harder and will ONLY go to Pruett's or Green Spray and to work and then back home. And anyway, I've spent a shocking amount of money online this month, some for things that might well become necessary (the ravioli) but also a lot of things that are frivolous comfort items (more yarn, the stuffed Snorlax, a couple of books)
* I can laugh about this now but I locked my car keys in my car this morning. (Fortunately my house and office keys are on a different ring). The pendant I was wearing (the little bronze badger I got from Irish Archaeology's online shop), its cord came untied and it fell down between my seat and the console, and while digging for it (because it has become a talisman of mine recently and I would be horrified to lose it), I set my car key down and forgot to retrieve it....until I slammed the car door.
Fortunately, when the campus cop on duty for today (I think they're down to one at a time for the duration, only a few faculty and staff present on campus now) came in, he drove over and popped the lock for me in less than a minute.
But yeah: very on brand for me to lock my keys in the car in the middle of a pandemic.
I do have the keyless entry (push button pad) but of course I do not remember the code. It's at home, I should put it in my phone (and write it down and keep it in my office too) so in case I do that again...
* But there's probably a reason for things like forgetting my key in the car: The Discomfort you are feeling, is Grief. Yes. I've been saying for about a week that what I am dealing with - the fuzzy-headedness, the sudden anger, the sense of "nothing matters any more so why even bother" - are all very like the grief in the wake of my dad's death last summer.
I suspect ALL of us are going to need some kind of counseling or something after this is over. I think I will be going back once a thing is possible again. I am doing better today - having been able to actually WORK yesterday made a big difference. But I know there will be hard times again and it's important to remember grief is not linear and you will have okay days, and good days, and terrible days, and it's not a progression of "terrible" ---> "okay" ---> "good", but that you might have a good day followed by a terrible day followed by a string of okay days and then another terrible day....
I think I've kind of finally accepted the "so this is my life, now" thing about shuttling out to work and then back home and maybe going to Pruett's once a week. (Wal-mart does do "pick up at the curb" BUT their slots are filled for weeks out, and also they do that thing where they just wildly substitute if they're out of something and then ask you if it's OK, and no, it really isn't, and I don't want to be put in the position of "Look, we have no fresh milk but we threw a case of condensed milk in there, is that OK?" because I have few enough spoons that some day I might not be able to say "no" and then where am I?)
* I also realize now since I'm not doing any labwork and not even doing much other than typing, maybe it's time for a proper manicure again. I usually don't even do clear nail polish in the spring because of the solvents in soils lab, but forget that now.
*Am trying with not a lot of success to find online labs for soils. Not sure what to do. Am resorting to "let my mind ruminate on it in the background while I work on other stuff" but other than giving them canned data to calculate, I can't think of anything else. Not gonna Zoom record myself doing the procedures and then ask them about them - there were three labs left to do, loss-on-ignition to measure carbon content (could be done as an explainer plus calculations), soil invertebrates (I suppose I could upload my old talk on soil inverts and have them do something with that?????) and ammonium and nitrate, which is a variation on a technique they've already done. Also bulk density, which....there might be some prayer of finding a simulation of that online? I don't know.
Also, a lot of the online labs seem to want to use Adobe Flash, which I thought was dead and in the grave and not secure to use so I guess some things are not being updated and supported.
* But at least my mom got the dishcloths I mailed, and she liked them, and it sounds like my brother got my birthday gift.
* Thing making the rounds on Twitter: what are the first things you will do once the virus is gone and it's truly safe to be out in public again and oh my friends, what a list I have:
- going to visit my mother in person
- getting to hug my friends Mike and Dana again - heck, getting to go to church in person again
- going to concerts on campus
- going to quilt and yarn shops
- departmental potlucks and potlucks at church
- going to visit my friend Laura and us just running around and shopping and going to weird museums and visiting roadside attractions
- massive JoAnn's trip, also massive Ulta trip (though shopping online with them is fine too)
- eating barbecue in an actual restaurant like God intended.
- getting a milkshake in a restaurant (Yes, I could probably do drive-through, but still: the less I am "in public" the less likely I contract anything)
And yes, I am telling myself: Eventually there will be a vaccine. Eventually maybe we will figure out ways, even before a vaccine, to protect ourselves enough that church can happen again, and maybe some limited restaurant stuff can happen again. (I just hope the various businesses can hold on through this time because i BET they will be swamped with business once we can go out in public again, we'll all want restaurant meals and to shop and to just be around people)
Also maybe for me: going to counseling in person again to straighten my head back out after all this.
Edited to add, because I forgot:
TEACHING CLASSES FACE TO FACE AGAIN AND ESPECIALLY BEING ABLE TO DO LABS BECAUSE I TRULY LOVE TEACHING LABS AND I MISS IT SO MUCH
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