But I saw this, from "Riley Silverman" on Twitter last night, and it struck a chord:
"This is just my courtesy tweet to say I'm aware that things are going to sh*t and my lack of a running commentary on it doesn't mean I don't care. I just don't know what to say that isn't being said by better, smarter people. I'm tweeting about nonsense cause it helps me cope."
Yes. Yes, to that. I am not smart enough to do policy analysis, I don't have the training for economics, I can't see into the future to know what will happen. And it just seems a lot of bad stuff is happening right now, stuff I have exactly zero control over. And so really? It doesn't benefit me to comment on it (at most I might get someone "liking" my tweet, and worst, someone sliding into my DMs to excoriate me for being very wrongheaded).
But if I re-tweet a picture of a Pomeranian puppy walking down the street and say "it's a furry potato!" and it makes someone else smile or laugh - well, that's something I can do. Maybe I just made someone else's day infinitesimally better by doing that, and that's worth it.
But I also don't like the judgy tone you see in some social media if you're not weighing in on every tragedy with either your "thoughts and prayers" (believe me, I pray every day for the state of the world to improve) or your flaming-hot take on it, you are being an ostrich.
No, I'm not an ostrich. I'm just a Bear of Very Little Brain who is also perhaps wise enough to realize how little her opinions matter in a global sense, but who maybe can briefly bring a bit of joy to a friend or who can share actually useful information (like if someone on Twitter had a question about 'what does this mean when I see it in a crochet pattern?')
I also had the misfortune this morning to stumble across a disagreement. One person yes was arguably wrong, but the people who were "correcting" them were taking neither St. Paul or Timothy's advice in how they did it, and it felt to me like a "ha HA. I am smarter and therefore better than you, and I am going to rub your face in your wrongness" and I am frankly so tired. I see stuff like that and just kind of back away slowly, because I know I'm wrong (because of ignorance or being misinformed) some times, and I know if someone were correcting me on my mistake I would not want it to be (a) done in a very, very public way (there is a backchannel, direct message way to talk to people, and my MO in such a situation would be to message the person and say something like "You might not know this, but..." and then explain) and (b) done with what I interpret as glee on the part of the corrector, because they are "scoring points."
Look. I remember one of my mom's friends had a little sign that claimed "she who dies with the most fabric wins" but it doesn't work that way, especially not for "points" you score off another person.
Also being smarter than someone doesn't mean you're better. Or being more educated doesn't mean you're better. Trust me on this; I've spent my entire adult life on college campuses and have seen a lot of smart or well-educated people. The older I get the more I realize that being smart or learned doesn't have any correlation to how wise you are. And that wisdom is the real thing of value.
But yeah. Not a stellar start to the day, especially not after last night when I turned on what I thought was going to be the 6 o'clock local news and immediately exclaimed "holy forking shirtballs" (or something very like it) when it was Breaking News of retaliation, or what was presented as retaliation (we never know the hearts or planning of other men; this could have been in the works and done somewhat coincidentally).
It looks less dire in the morning light than it did last night, but still.
I am looking for happy things today and once I print off my syllabi to be copied I need to motivate myself to work on research. Am considering doing the Sherman run I was planning for this weekend tomorrow instead: Friday and Saturday it's supposed to be unpleasantly cold and Saturday there is a chance of "winter precipitation" (This will probably just be a quick run to get a few things at Ulta, and maybe pop in to the bookstore, and maybe get some supplies that are easier to find at Target than at a grocery...)
And I have seen on the doll-blogs that (at least some) Targets have the Creatable World dolls INCLUDING separate clothing packs for them, and I really want some additional clothing. I would not be surprised if the nearby Target did not (smaller toy section, and I can totally see the buyer going "nonbinary dolls? But that will offend some of our customers!" and not ordering them. But I'm still gonna try. Apparently there's also a new African-American doll out with a short "natural" haircut plus a big Afro wig and I might want to get them....also there's a chance the G4.5 My Little Pony blindbags may be out, and as long as there is a letter below M in the alphabet on their package code, I will be getting a pony and not one of the "pets" like Gummi, which I care less about. (I really want Cha-Cha the Llama, but that's apparently only in the sets that went to wal-mart; their blind bag code is X. For the Target set, Celestia's code is E, she is the one I'd want the most of that set....)
And yes, part of me goes, "This is totally foolish" but you know? It makes me happy. Having little dolls I can dress makes me happy. Having "critters" around me makes me happy. And I feel like now more than ever, I should not feel apologetic for things that make me happy
I did bring in my little Gachapon crate critters and have them installed in my office now:
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