Quick Pony thought

Yes, I am at work, but it's intersession, and I admit that makes it hard for me not to procrastinate...

But this is something I've thought about recently because of some "recent" (well, the song I will reference is from Season 7 and we are now midway through Season 8....and I guess Season 8 returns in a couple weeks?)

This has become one of my favorite songs in the series. In fact, I liked the whole "Fame and Misfortune" episode; in recent seasons (6-8) there's been what seemed like a lot of unevenness to me  (some episodes really grabbed me, others I was really meh about - most of the Spike/Discord episodes have been kind of meh to me). I suspect it's that (a) I really do prefer seeing the whole Mane 6 in action and (b) I like there to be explicit life-lessons. Perhaps I am unusual among adult fans in that, but I do like some of the little morals, because in a way they remind me that the world is not chaotic and yes, there is a different way to "be" in this world instead of selfishness or rudeness.

"Fame and Misfortune" (which I first joked was the "friendfiction" episode - there was a gag in Bob's Burgers once where Tina had written "erotic friendfiction" [Tina being a somewhat-innocent 13 year old, the "erotic" mostly involved touching others' clothed butts and maybe some kissing] and it got revealed at school...) contained both lessons for Our Favorite Fillies but also for the "fan" horses - I know it was probably meant as a shoutout to the fans of the show who complained about a property they did not own and did not write for, but which didn't do what they wanted. (There's a difference in going "I was meh about that particular episode" and "How dare they write that episode")

But the lesson of the song, that was what grabbed me:



First of all, it's a catchy song (and there's a version of it making the rounds where the rhythm track has been reset to "Despacito," and it works, the meter is the same....kind of like how you can sing "House of the Rising Sun" to the tune of "Amazing Grace" and vice versa).

But also, the "lesson" in it does speak to me and who I am.

I am someone who is very aware of my flaws....to the point of my wanting to excise those flaws and do things "perfectly" has itself become a flaw. I have a hard time sitting comfortably with the idea that a person's flaws are what make them special and that people (ponies?) will still like you even with your flaws.

(As I've said before: you can tell I'm comfortable with you and think of you as "one of my family" if I'm willing to let the facade drop a little and do things like worry audibly about my dietary restrictions or fuss about being late for somewhere in front of you)

But then there's this, from Pinkie Pie:

"Ponies think I'm all bubbles and laughter/That I don't seem sincere/I might joke around a little too much/ But I'm just so happy you're here"

And that makes me think. Once, I opined that Pinkie Pie would not be the best real-world friend (that Applejack probably would be better) because she was always so upbeat and happy and she might not understand problems....that you'd tell her your worries and she'd hand you a balloon, and you could tell she didn't get it. But maybe....maybe there is a little anxiety there underneath the confetti exterior.

I've talked about how I go into  "golden retriever mode" when I'm around a new person that I want to like me - it is kind of similar to how Pinkie Pie acts, and I admit, at times I've been surprised at people's description of me as happy or even "bubbly" (SERIOUSLY?) because I often do not feel like that inside. But....maybe, yeah. Maybe a lot of the time I do present as fairly upbeat even if I'm not feeling it myself...Part of it is out of concern for the other person's feelings, part of it is that at times I just don't feel like explaining why I might feel sad or upset or something (I am the one who, as a child, sometimes used to say "Oh, I'm just tired" when I was crying over something - probably something I had heard my parents say about me at an earlier time, but it worked, as a way to dissemble and deflect). And part of it may be so many years in school of being told to "get over" my hurt feelings that I got an early lesson in "when you are having bad feelings, no one really cares" and so it's easier to just stuff things down and pretend stuff is OK.

And I wonder if that's a little bit of Pinkie, as well. She seems to have grown up in slightly....difficult (for a happy cartoon) situations - parents that seem to have been strict and not-emotionally-involved, an angry older sister, a mute twin, hard work on the rock farm....and maybe young Pinkie's emotional needs sometimes went unmet, and she did that "neglected middle child" thing (even though I guess she's actually the youngest, if you count being part of a pair of twins as being the same in birth order).

I also wonder if maybe she worries a little bit about the well-being of her friends, but doesn't always know how to express it directly. I...feel the same way. I can worry pretty intensely about people I care about but I have a hard time asking directly "Hey, are you all right?" I think, because I'm afraid to seem to be prying. (My family was always very private about things and very closed-mouth). Or, more distance acquaintances - if someone I communicate with mainly through social media seems to be missing-without-good-reason for more than a couple days, I worry. (Again, I think this is because I've had a couple instances in my life where someone died suddenly - in the most recent case I found out that same day but in other cases it was a few days or even a few weeks that a relative notified people who had known them....). I'm relieved when they show back up. Once in a while I've expressed that relief in a way I was embarrassed about later on....but yeah. Maybe it's not as simple as "Pinkie Pie doesn't understand depth-of-bad-emotion so she hands a pie or a balloon to someone who is genuinely suffering," maybe it is more "Pinkie Pie came from a more small-s stoic background, and so she's uncomfortable around strong bad emotion, but she knows she wants to "fix" it for the person, and the only way she can think of to "fix" it is with a balloon"?

or maybe I'm reading too much of myself into this. A lot of times when someone I care about is distressed I try to offer help - concrete help, because often that feels like the only thing I can do. Stuff like sending the person funny greeting cards or the like. And yeah, that's maybe a little bit useless in the grand scheme, and maybe sometimes my efforts annoy people, I don't know.

But yeah. Maybe these pastel cartoon horses are not as simple as they appear on the surface. (I would love to see a "more mature rewriting" where, for example, Pinkie had a difficult childhood, and Rarity is trying to act above her SES of origin, and Applejack is just worried about keeping the farm and has a hard time hiring enough help....sort of a Ponies for Grown Ups thing. Or maybe I'd hate that, I don't know)