It happened again.

So, about two weeks ago, this happened.

Late in the afternoon - shortly before going off to my meeting - my phone rang. And it was "P*rtfolio R3covery" again (though, I don't know, maybe I WANT them to be able to find me if they search).

I was prepared to explain again, and I did:

1. I bought this house from his mother NEARLY 20 YEARS AGO
2. He has not lived here in that time
3. He is dead, and such-and-such is the date.

And I told the guy: when someone called a while back and I told her this, she said they were removing this number from the database

(This wasn't even the phone number associated with her or with him - it is the number I got when I moved into the old apartment on Wilson here. So I am guessing they go by what phone number is associated with a given address, regardless of the name of the person or the actual number)

And he kind of hemmed and hawed. No apology, no "Yes, ma'am, we'll do that," no "Sorry it wasn't done earlier."

Then he said: "Uhhhh, you'll have to wait for me to talk to my manager."

I told him they were GHOULS and that I didn't have time to hang on the line while he got a manager. Then I hung up. And yes, I know the answer is to ignore the phone forever when that number comes up again but seriously? Not apologize, not say "Oh, I'll take care of that?"

I was kind of rude to him - rude and loud - and now, dammit, I feel really bad about that. Because my inner moralist is telling me "He was probably someone working for minimum wage and in danger of getting fired if he didn't stick to the script, and you didn't need to yell at him," and so now I feel even worse about it. I hate being rude to people even when many might say they deserve it; I feel like I should be better than that.

I don't know if it's possible to block a number but maybe next time they call I try to figure out how to. (But I think the numbers keep changing).

But yeah. Maybe I just eventually drop the land line and deal with the crummy, staticky cell service I get in the house (someone else I know complains that this neighborhood is a "dead zone" - when she's walking through here and talking on her phone, the call often drops.

Also, the meeting was somewhat contentious tonight (there is some miscommunication and also, I think, a few people who get insulted over things a little easily). I may have wound up on a committee I really don't want to serve on, and don't have time to serve on, because the person previously appointed got upset (over that or maybe something else) and resigned in a bit of a huff, and I kind of sighed and said, "If we can do the thing that needs to be figured out over the summer, I'll do it." I hate doing that and I should not but it's my peacemaker tendency: I take on tasks that someone else gets upset about because....I don't know, I guess it feels like pouring oil on troubled water.

(I don't know for sure because in the confusion someone else may have said "I'll do it in her place" after it was realized I had - voluntarily - joined a different committee earlier in the evening)

But yeah. I want to eat something now but I also realize that would be 100% "eating my feelings," something I am trying to avoid, because I don't feel hungry.

It makes me sad because the earlier part of the day was so positive, but most of the interactions I had after about 5 pm weren't.

(And I don't even know if one of the people involved realized they upset me, and will apologize. I tend to be very non-vocal about when someone's behavior upsets me so I rarely get apologized to. Someone who was VERY cued in to my body language would know; I took my glasses off - I only take my glasses off when I'm trying to block out what's around me (making my eyes go out of focus). But I don't think anyone noticed, or would think of it as anything more than "she's tired or has a headache."

I don't know. Part of me prides myself in being a non-drama, non-tantrum person, but another part of me sometimes wishes her feelings were listened to a little more....)

But ugh. Now I have a great big box full of bad feelings, and nowhere to shove it.