A few things were things I needed: food for the college-student ministry on Tuesday evening (I got about $40 of sandwich meat and cheese; we are doing sandwiches again because that seemed to work well. And I am also making a couple batches of brownies). And I needed more pantyhose (yes, I still wear 'em, even though many people don't. Call it a combination of an old-fashioned sense of decorum and also the fact that my allergies makes exposed legs either more vulnerable - or at times, when my hives are bad, I'm self-conscious about my legs and the red blotches are a little better hidden by "Suntan" toned hose). But the stupid, stupid wal-mart: apparently they either think women who wear size Q (which, sigh, I do: chubby and with big legs, and also not short) only want "Jet Black," or else they can't be bothered to order any new boxes of hose until ALL of one size are gone - so of late I've been buying them at the Target.
And I needed more milk, and I wanted to get some of those Thai Kitchen noodle bowls that are JUST low enough in sodium for me to be able to eat them (there is something about being able to have a near-instant bowl of something that is close enough to hot and sour soup to satisfy me when you are tired and sad and your allergies are bad)
And I got some greeting cards - the ITFF card swap has started back up and it's just fun and nice to take part in it, so I got some nice/funny "friendship" or "just to say hi" cards for it. And I found a Mother's Day card for my mom. Originally I was going to get one with a kitten on it, but then I saw one with a mom and a kid (the kid was ambiguously-enough drawn: could be a boy or a girl). The kid asks: "Mom, can you make me a waffle?" And on the inside, the mom (who has a mixing bowl in her hand) flicks flour over the child and says "Poof. You're a waffle."
("Dad jokes" aren't just for dads to make).
The card made me laugh because that is kind of my mom's humor, so I think she will like it. (I still need to get down to Kopper Kettle and see if they have some good small supplement to the potholders I made her as a gift. And I already have her birthday gift - a couple weeks later - planned out)
I also did some frivolous shopping. I saw a fancy Barbie dress at the Target (Why yes, I do look down the toy aisles every time I am there) and I literally thought, "Oh. My Gabby Douglas Barbie would like that dress."
Um. Yeah. She's a DOLL, Erica. She can't think. (And I don't know enough about the "real" Gabby Douglas to know if she likes fancy clothing, but the pretend Gabby Douglas that my doll is certainly does; she has a small wardrobe of gowns that would be appropriate for performances at the Kennedy Center and similar. It's funny to me now because I disliked Barbie as a child and didn't care about fancy clothes....but now, it's just fun. And Gabby can wear the things I could not, either because I'm too zaftig to look good in that style, or, more commonly: I have no where to wear them).
So yeah. I like the dress on her. I like it a lot:
(I meant to do a webcam shot, but for some reason either my webcam isn't working well, or, more likely, Blogger's webcam interface is hosed right now).
Anyway. Yes, having and dressing a Barbie doll makes me happy, go figure. (I think part of the fun is she is from their "Made to Move" line which is actually ARTICULATED - you can see her knee joints there in the photo. One thing I disliked about many dolls as a child is that they moved unrealistically - if you sat them down, their legs just splayed out, and their arms only rotated at the shoulder)
The shoes are from another outfit; the dress came with a purse and a little necklace, but no shoes.
I also did get the yarn for the crocheted crochet hook, which still amuses me. It's "Seafoam" - sort of a turquoise:
(And yeah, a few more Pony blindbags, even if they may be duplicates of ones I already have. I have a silly idea to get some spray-glue and make a "Goldfinger" pony with some glitter I have, using one of the duplicate ones)
I also bought some purple glitter duct tape. I don't know why I need purple glitter duct tape except that I kind of do. (I will probably find a use for it. Maybe in the future if I do a swap with someone I use it to seal up the box before mailing? Or I use it to repair something temporarily?)
And also at the JoAnn's, this:
It's a little hand towel, and it matches neither my kitchen nor my bathroom, but I bought it because I like the sentiment on it and I sometimes need to be reminded of that.
And yes, on happiness - I commented yesterday about the contempt some express towards the things teen girls like (and yes, I had a time in my past where I rolled my eyes a bit over the extreme Kittens On Everything sentiment, but I've grown up now, and I recognize that Kittens On Everything is a perfectly valid aesthetic choice, and if it makes you happy - well, there's a lot to be said for innocent things that makes a person happy). And how I'm coming back in touch with my Inner Teen Girl (or maybe slightly pre-teen, I don't know. I don't know how sophisticated kids are now or even were when I was a tween/teen; I was kind of (to put it nicely) a late bloomer and (to put it not so nicely) perhaps a bit socially delayed.
And so, yes, I swung by the Ulta despite my small box of stuff (new nail polish yes! hair masques yes!) arrived today. Turns out I had $20 worth of "loyalty points" I had accrued and never spent*. So I got a new Burt's Bees lipstick ("Pacific Coast" - a purplish red. I have decided that reds with a bluish or purplish undertone are the good colors for me; orangish undertones don't work. And too pale of a pink doesn't look so good either). And an egg white face masque I've been wanting to try (the checkout woman said, "Oh, I've heard a lot of good things about this and I want to try it"). And some rhinestone hair grips. And a bottle of rose-scented shower gel. (And my inner 12 year old has to remind you that the German word for shower gel is Duschgel)
(*And yes, I know there are people who would say that "loyalty points" is a game for suckers because (a) Big Makeup now knows what I buy and can track me and (b) I probably spend more money knowing I will eventually get a tiny bit of it back as spendable credit. Eh, meh. I guess I'd be more worried about a than b, but even then: my purchases are sufficiently odd and random that I'm not sure what Big Makeup would make of them.)
But all those things make me happy. And who knows? Maybe the egg white face wash will prevent future outbreaks of "spots" (a polite term for pimples).
I do feel happier again. Driving home, I mused on it: how did I snap out of the funk I was feeling earlier this spring? Allergens are still bad, the days are still full and I have to plan carefully to get all my work done.
And then it hit me: Could I have been slightly temporarily depressed by Steve's death? And it just took a time of mourning and coming to accept it (I am not over it, I don't think one really "gets over" a death; it's just you grow scar tissue over that wound and it doesn't hurt as much any more). And that I'm finally bouncing back. Part of the sadness was the shock and the suddenness; I think part of it for me was that it once again made me worry about the universe being dangerously random: one of the older people at church who had been unwell for a while dying, yes, while I would be sad, that would be more comprehensible. But this was so sudden; he was fine one day and gone the next. Though then again, there's the old Irish blessing about "May you be in Heaven for a half-hour before the devil knows you're dead," and maybe there is something to that - a quick death that one doesn't have a chance to dread, rather than lingering. But still, it is hard on those left behind, and I would argue, hard in a different way from a death you are anticipating, because you also have the shock of suddenness to deal with.
I also wonder if maybe - ironically, given I now live in the South where it's warmer and lighter in winter - I have developed a tiny touch of seasonal affective disorder? I do know some of the prolonged periods of raininess really got to me like they usually did not in the past.
(And who knows? It could be, as Abe Simpson once said, "A little from Column A, a little from Column B")
At any rate: tonight I am taking a warm bath (it is supposed to be cold tonight). One of the things from the Ulta box is a "Unicorn Bomb" - there is a company that makes rather expensive but fun bath bombs that have surprises inside and yes I am a total sucker for them and when I found out they had unicorn ones....I am hoping the surprise is either a little plastic unicorn figure or a little charm of a unicorn (the Fairy Bomb I had some weeks back had a tiny metal charm of a fairy - which I should find again; I could make a pendant for one of my dolls or Ponies out of it....)
I also found out when I got home that the cardinals (either the same female, or maybe one of her descendants) is nesting in the holly bush again. She's on the nest so I presume that means she has eggs. I look forward to getting to watch the parents feed the babies when they hatch.
And that makes me happy, too: a little bit of continuity with past years (I hope this nest succeeds; one year, the nest did not, I think crows got the babies) and also the fun of watching them, and nature right outside my dining room window....
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