trying to motivate

I need to get back to photographing the finished-over-break stuff and posting it, but yesterday was long and I'm still getting back into the swing of work.

It's also cold. Very cold for here, though not unusually cold compared to what I experienced in Illinois over break. The difference here is that our buildings are poorly-insulated, and unlike my parents' (slightly-overheated, because of my dad's bad circulation) house, my office especially is COLD.

It was 12 degrees Celsius when I came in this morning. That's 54 in Fahrenheit. Fine if you're outside, in a good heavy barn coat and hat, and walking around doing fieldwork. Not so fine for sitting at a desk and typing.

I have a blanket from home (a big striped blanket I knit of Homespun that is too heavy and slidy for on my bed, and is kind of slidy to wear flipped up like a hood over my head) but that only does so much. (I also have on a wool pullover, a jersey turtleneck, and a thermal camisole. And I'm wearing slacks, which I normally do not wear for "indoor" teaching, but it's too cold for a skirt, even with tights).

I'm hoping part of the cold is them shutting the heaters off at night to save money, but that makes it uncomfortable for those of us who come in early. (I can hear the ventilation running but do not distinctly feel warm air coming out of it). Part of it is my office is on an exposed outside wall - as nice as it is having a window, it's not great when it's this cold, because I think there's really no insulation between the brick/cinderblock and the outside. And of course with my door closed overnight (for security, though I'm not sure there's much in my office worth stealing these days), no warm air from elsewhere circulates in.

And I have yet another task for some time this week. A paper I wrote two years ago (in fact, the one I stayed here over Spring Break 2016 to write), which was accepted back in April 2017 or so, and which I submitted the final revisions to in June 2017, has come back to me.

With more edits. And a request to redo the figures. Oh, and they want this "As soon as possible."

What does that mean? What does that even MEAN in this context? Tomorrow? Next week? Before this coming June? Argh.

And this is where, as a rule follower, and as someone who expects to NEVER be granted slack, I have problems. (Especially just coming off this OTHER article where (a) I had to really push to make the suggested deadline for rewrites, especially given teaching a new prep) and (b) then the paper I supposedly uploaded in its finished form was not findable by the editor, and I got an e-mail to that effect WHILE I WAS IN ILLINOIS and I could not log on to the uploading site, and I was terrified that the answer would then be, "Well, we're rescinding the acceptance of your paper."

I guess I've dealt with too many situations (e.g., being asked to leave my first graduate program) where everyone acted like everything was FINE until it was suddenly not, that I always assume something big is going to go wrong and I am going to lose out on whatever Good Thing I've been promised unless I really, really overperform (e.g., get stuff in long before any deadline). I never expect to be cut slack, which I suppose makes the lives of people doing things like editing the journals I write for easier, but it causes extra stress for me.

That said: I probably have time to do this today and tomorrow, it's just....I thought it was done and I was just waiting on publication and it makes me sad that it's not really done.

Remaking the figures especially is going to be a giant, giant bear.

At least I know it's not off in limbo somewhere, and they couldn't secure funding to publish or something....