The party last night was okay. Not lots of people there - it was v. cold, so some didn't venture out, I guess. One person had had a (horrifying details redacted) eye surgery and was recovering.
There was enough food, and enough nutritious food. Mini quiches, I was able to eat the grapes on the platter of otherwise-not-good-for-my-digestion raw veggies, some dips - and I realized Ritz-type crackers are NOT too crunchy for my poor teeth, so that was nice, to be able to eat spinach dip and crackers again. And my meatballs, and someone else brought chicken nuggets that looked a bit like the Applegate Farms kind I buy.
There were desserts but a lot of them were hard and crunchy (those flat, pizzelle-like cookies, and a couple things that looked suspicious for peanut-butter content). But there were brownies and pumpkin bread so that was good.
There was also what is sometimes jocularly called "Baptist champagne" around here - white grape juice with ginger ale in it. (One of the women - as I was eating and drinking, I heard the word 'champagne' and was like "wait, I've already had two glasses, now I won't be able to drive home" but then realized "I can't taste alcohol in it so it can't be..." and then someone else said something about Baptist champagne so I relaxed. I drink rarely enough that sometimes I think I won't recognize it, but I probably would - most wines taste to me like something died in them, so I would expect I'd be able to detect the alcohol in a champagne punch)
We didn't have a business meeting (even though I ran back to my office to get a copy of the minutes, which I had forgotten when I went home to grade). (It wound up still being a long meeting, because people wanted to talk. I left at 9 pm and I was the first to leave....I am also the only one still working for a living, so I'm not too surprised. But yeah. I can't really be out past 9 on a school night. And I don't like being out that late on non-school nights, though if I don't have to be the one to drive home in the dark I'm MORE okay with it).
We also did a gift exchange. This is what I gave the scarf I knit to. I think that was a good choice; it was the most "stolen" gift (we play "Dirty Santa," or a variant of it - gifts can only be stolen twice before they are "locked" and no longer able to be stolen. Or else, perhaps, we'd be there all night...) The person who wound up with it, it's good with her coloring, so I'm glad I gave the scarf now. And anyway, I have a whole other ball of the yarn to make the same or a different scarf with (I am leaning towards doing the triangular shawlette type scarf that has its pattern on the ballband).
As is typical in these "blind" gift exchanges, I get a thing that, while nice, isn't that useful given how I live my life. I got a relish dish - three conjoined small dishes, one labeled "catsup" another, "mustard," and the third, "mayo." There's a spoon (just one spoon, and so I guess you either risk getting mustard and mayo mixed, or you have to wipe it between uses).
The thing is: I don't entertain and I don't have a family. If I am putting a condiment on something I'm going to eat, I do it in the kitchen when I plate up the food, and I only ever use one condiment at a time (and I almost never use mustard). So I don't know.
If my parents still entertained like that I'd regift it to my mom. But they don't, either. Nor do my brother and sister-in-law, and in fact, I don't really know anyone who would use it. I suppose I hang on to it until some regifting opportunity or else repurpose it to hold spools of thread in my sewing room or something.
But really, for me, the fun of these is seeing the reactions of others to their gifts. I tend to expect little from "blind" gift exchanges because, as I said, I live differently than most (no family with me, don't entertain, don't really do the "gracious living" type of dining - sometimes, if it's something really simple, I don't even get out utensils).
There was also talk about how (long before I joined) the gift exchange was not a "nice gift" exchange, but a white-elephant exchange. But the problem with "white elephant" is people interpret it differently. The INTENTION was, "bring something that is a nice thing but you can't use, but someone else might want" (so: my relish dish would fit). Apparently a couple people interpreted it as "some old gross thing you give for the lulz to see someone's disappointment upon opening it." They ended the practice the year someone received a pan that had been used as a dog dish - with "wet" dog food still crusted on to it.
Yeah. I don't like those kind of gift exchanges either.
We used to do a white-elephant exchange at CWF, but it was mostly the first type of things. Lots of fancy aprons going into the exchange, for example. Some years back we quit doing that on the grounds that people don't really need more stuff, and instead we either bought gifts for, or donated an equivalent sum of money for, the local women's and children's shelter. (One of our group is on the board and knows about its "secret" location). I like that better; it seems more useful (this year we are just doing a monetary donation, figuring the shelter board can buy what they feel their current residents need/want as gifts)
I dunno. I do still like getting gifts, but I don't care as much for the "blind" or "draw out a gift" gift exchanges because there's half a chance of getting something you can't use. (Even food would be a problem - someone who has to do gluten free getting cookies, for example). I don't think the "pick a name at the November meeting and get a gift for specifically that person" would work, and anyway, people seem to enjoy the Dirty Santa (I'm not a huge fan; it seems that if you get a particularly nice gift, you won't get to keep it - I would have been just as fine with the first woman who unwrapped my scarf keeping it, it looked good on her, too.)
***
There have also been a couple of types of news stories I find sort of low-level distressing.
First: "porch pirates." These are people who apparently stake out neighborhoods, or follow the mail delivery/UPS person and then steal packages off of front porches. (That seems not to be a thing in my neighborhood; a neighbor who is frequently on the road for work has had packages sit on her porch for 3-4 days until she gets home to retrieve them).
The suggestion, as is always the case here, is "put more effort on the consumer" - they are suggesting people take out a UPS store account so they have a "mailbox" there (more expense, I presume). Or have it sent to work (not always possible; some workplaces won't accept "personal" mail). Or, one police department in a small town is offering their office as an address, and then you can come in, show ID, and get your stuff (And I'm wondering: will they do a warrant-check on your ID while you're there?). But yeah - the 'central location' thing is not great in some cases, because either it's far away (the nearest UPS depot to me is in Hugo, an hour away, so having something held at the depot and my going to get it would not be possible) or it's open short enough hours that a person who works a normal schedule (or even a slightly-abnormal schedule, like me) might be hard pressed to get in to get their stuff.
(And there's the whole "Amazon wants their delivery people to be able to enter your house using an Internet of Things device" and for a single woman who lives alone and who has never had a stalker and doesn't want to - that's a nope from me.)
And it does seem, once again, it's a case of "the innocent people who are being hurt here need to go to extra effort, rather than things being done to crack down on theft." (I would not be surprised if these stories kept coming, and eventually then the USPS announces they are rolling out a new anti-theft service called You Must Come Pick Up Your Mail From The Post Office Rather Than Get It Delivered. Which of course would save them money and put giant hassle on consumers, but that seems to be the trend in our country)
The thing that annoys me about package theft: most of the stuff I mail order is highly specialized and pretty unfencable (I assume what the thieves want are electronics, jewelry, the typical stuff that can be sold at a pawnshop or a dodgy yard sale). Books, yarn, tea....that kind of thing. If someone ripped off a package from my front porch, it would probably wind up in a Dumpster.
It also annoys me to think that someone might have to explain to a loved-one why there was no gift under the tree for them, because that gift was ordered with a short turnaround time, got stolen, and had to be re-sent from Amazon or where-ever.
The second one is about a rash of thefts of those "laser light" devices (and other Christmas decorations) that people have put out.
And yeah. I get not liking Christmas decorations. I get decrying the (really rather tiny) bit of electricity they 'waste' because I hear that from people. I'm not sure that's what's at work here.
I don't know what the motivation is. Maybe the laser light things sell well at dodgy yard sales, and anyway, selling something for $5 that you picked up on a five-finger discount is $5 in your own pocket? Or is it just people being stupid? Dumb pranks? Or people being mean-spirited? I don't know.
But it makes me sad: people put out Christmas lights to make themselves happy, their families happy, their neighbors happy. Maybe not ALL the neighbors are happy (have heard cases where someone got taken to court over the "traffic nuisance" their impressive light display caused). But it makes ME happy to see them, driving around in the evening. And it makes me sad to think of someone destroying that for either "the lulz*" or to get for free a set of lights they can then sell or put up themselves.
(*If God ever decides to wipe out the human race, I suspect it will be as much over people doing really rather mean-spirited things "for the lulz" rather than over anything else. Because it's SO unnecessary. And it causes suffering - maybe not great suffering, but it's pain caused for an unnecessary reason)
And so far, there haven't been calls to "well, just don't decorate for Christmas outside" though there have been statements about using bike locks and the like to secure stuff. And that makes me sad: what a world we live in when we have to lock down Christmas lights so someone won't steal them.
(And there are also cases of people vandalizing displays, though I don't know if that's actually breaking the stuff or the sort of juvenile-prank "vandalism" like re-posing two lighted reindeer so it looks like they're copulating - that kind of vandalism, while perhaps annoying, can be un-done, but not if someone busts up your lights or slashes your inflatable snowman)
I was just thinking this morning, after hearing two news stories about these things: perhaps the real "War on Christmas" isn't some ginned-up non-controversy about some stores choosing, as policy, to say "happy holidays" because they think it's more inclusive, but it's mean-spirited or selfish people making it harder for individuals to celebrate as they personally wish to.
And I also wonder: if this continues, will this lead to fewer people doing outdoor decorations? Or more people deciding "Eh, I'll just give cash instead of a gift, let the person deal with ordering their own present" and the spirit of the (fun, and admittedly-secular) part of the holiday dies a little more. Will I see a sharp decline in this kind of celebration in my lifetime? (Already I think some things are gone: breakfasts with Santa, for example.)
I dunno. I try not to take stories like these as evidence of the coarsening, cheapening, and increasing incivility of everyday life, but sometimes it's hard to be optimistic about our culture.
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