I hadn't heard about the latest church shooting (near San Antonio) until after I'd written that post. Someone posted something on Twitter and in a chain of following the tweet.....I found it.
I don't understand humanity. I wonder if this will turn out to be domestic terrorism of some kind. I can't imagine ever wanting to kill someone, not even someone who hurt me a lot. I can imagine wanting to see them wind up in prison or something, but that's different.
Anyway. I decided to turn off the news - no one knows anything and it's wild speculation and honestly trying to guess at a motive is pointless because I think if you can "understand" the motivation for someone to do this, you probably better check yourself in somewhere where you can get taken care of, but still...
it upsets me a lot because I spend so much time in church and I admit there have been times I've been up at the lectern reading the announcements or the Call to Worship where I wonder: what would I do if I saw someone bust in the back door with a weapon?
Ugh.
So anyway. I decided to do a few housekeeping tasks - a couple of the globe lights in my bathroom fixture had burned out, so I replaced them (at some point I want to get the LED ones - apparently they make LED globe lights now - so I won't have to do this so often).
Then I decided to put up the new smoke detector. I wanted to put this up right over my bedroom door (in my bedroom) because it has an emergency light to help you find your way out in a fire. But. I forgot about the stupid paneling that the person who owned this house before me put up (it has wallpaper over it) and it's always a nightmare to put screws into it, or nails bigger than the tiniest of finishing nails. I also forgot that I don't know where my drill bits are - I have a Phillip's head driver in the chock of the drill, but all the bits have gone missing. So I couldn't do it the way I SHOULD have - drill two pilot holes and then install the screws. So I tried first with just the screws. No go, and I lost both the screws (they fell and rolled away, probably under a bookcase. Found two new ones of similar size. This time tried making pilot holes with a hammer and nail. That worked, except one screw Would. Not. Go. In. All. The. Way. It stuck out like 1/32 of an inch and I swear that was enough to mess up the whole thing - I could not get the alarm to attach to the bracket and I was on the point of just going "Okay. I set the alarm on top of one of the bookcases and it will probably still work if it has to" but finally, by rotating the bracket and pulling that side out just a bit, I was able to get it to attach:
I really hope it does not fall down now. I hate how it seems every job I take on like this winds up being way harder than it should be, and turns out far less neat and elegant - and yes, even though you can't really see the bunged-up job of attaching the bracket, I know it's there, and it bothers me. (I have NEVER been a "done beats perfect" sort of person)
Next, I decided to swap out the bulbs in the kitchen fixture (one had burnt out and the other three were mismatched catch-as-catch-can ones from the incandescents I still had on hand). I had bought a box of 4 "warm white" LEDs yesterday with the thought of doing that - partly to avoid having to change bulbs so often. (Though that one is not so bad because I can do it without having to get on a chair.)
At least that was successful:
They are very bright. The downside is it's obvious how dusty some areas of my kitchen (like the glass shades on that) are.
I'm not feeling a lot happier, but at least I took care of those things.
Can I have another weekend day? I'm not ready to go back to work tomorrow. Even though I have to :(
I'm also gonna say (edited to add), that as a Christian I find it especially offensive and awful to hear news of a shooting in a church. Oh, I know it's awful when it happens at schools, workplaces, stores, homes....but there's something special to me about churches (and other houses of worship; I remember feeling similarly offended over the attack at the Sikh temple back in 2012 or so).
I think that's what upsets me so extra much about this.
I don't know. I just really wish I had someone here right now to give me a hug. I know I've made a big deal in the past about being touch averse, but I'm becoming less so, and I'm finding I just really do need a hug periodically, but the way the world works - if you don't have a kid or a significant other, you're probably not going to get hugged very often. Especially now, when creeps like Weinstein has made it even harder for men and women to negotiate the dance between the sexes.
I probably need to take a hot shower tonight (it's too hot here for a bath). I read somewhere that warm water, like in a shower, triggers a similar reaction to being hugged and I think I can kind of see that.
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