that was weird

I suffer a lot of anxiety about my teeth. I think part of it is I'm just generally an anxious person and "what if I damaged a tooth" is a convenient nucleus for the anxiety to congeal around. Part of it is bad childhood dental experiences. Part of it is I did, in fact, break a tooth pretty spectacularly a couple summers ago (to the point where the old amalgam filling fell out while the dentist was working on it. Fortunately, I was able to cough it up. I don't like to think what they'd do medically if someone swallowed an amalgam filling).

Also, I have twitchy sinuses that are very close to the roots of my top teeth - so hard crunchy foods are mostly out for me now, I can't stand the sound they make and they give me fear that I'm breaking a tooth (or "popping" a crown - I have three crowns on the left side now).

Once in a while I'll get a fear something is wrong. I thought I had dislodged a crown with dental floss when I felt it "move" once while flossing (all my teeth feel like they shift from time to time; I have been told it's sinuses. It only happens to my top teeth).

Last night, I hit a little hard crusty bit on the reheated meatloaf and suddenly thought "oh my gosh, what if I damaged the one remaining filled-but-not-crowned tooth?" and I was very anxious for a while....gradually I calmed down (cold water did not hurt, brushing did not hurt, using mouthwash did not hurt) so I assume it was just the hard crusty bit from the meatloaf I was feeling.

But I still thought, in the back of my head - what if you break it over break? (The answer probably is perfectly sensible, and is: you go to the dentist your parents go to, and he gives you at least a temporary fix. Maybe you pay for it out of pocket but that's why you have a savings account).

And then, as I got into bed, I wondered: when's my next dental checkup? I thought of calling today but forgot about it - and anyway, I figured it HAD to be January, as they usually send a reminder postcard.

Well, guess what? I came home at lunch to a message from the dentist reminding me of a check-up tomorrow.

Good news, from the standpoint that if my teeth are still all sound (I *think* they probably are despite my nervousness of last night) I get reassured. If they aren't, if it's something small like a cavity I can make an appointment to fix it when I get back. If, in fact, my anxiety of last night was right, I probably can get an emergency appointment for a fix before I have to leave.....

Another thing I noticed: my hives are a lot worse today. Hives and being anxious seem to go hand in hand. I don't know if the hives make me feel low-level bad and that increases the anxiety, or if histamine being released makes me anxious, or if it's that BEING anxious over something causes the hives. (If I had to guess? I'd say the hives were brought on by exposure to the various cleaning chemicals yesterday)


ETA: I realized I was also tired and freezing cold which led me to check my calendar. Oh yes, almost a month to the day from my previous, uh, "visitor" (as they sometimes used to say). So that explains why I was anxious AND that explains why I'm cold and tired and I guess I better check on my stock of certain hygiene products....